A Spark In Tar Valon
by all4jesus84
Summary: 17 year old Rissa comes to the Tower after escaping from her past. Will she be able to gain control of her life, and what secrets will she discover while training?
1. Prologue

**_Disclaimer: I have only read up to book 5 in the series, so I may be missing some stuff that may be occuring in later chapters, but this story takes place around book 2-ish time, when Egwene and Nynaeve arrive at the Tower for the first time. Some things in the story will not be accurate WoT-wise, because it is a fanfiction, but please read and review. Enjoy._**

* * *

**Prologue**

It had all happened so quickly.

It had started out a day unlike any other.

It was a day she would never forget.

A simple trip into town had proven to become the very trip that would haunt her dreams for the rest of her days. A day filled with children's laughter, and joy had been snatched away from her very grasp, without any warning.

The woman had bundled up her two children, both girls, only one and three years old, even though it was a fairly warm day; the north wind could be fairly chilly at times. She carried her youngest in her arms, and held her eldest's hand, as they traveled through the city. The woman had left her husband at home; he had much work to do, being the mayor of the village they lived in, but he had given them fair for their travels, and simply asked to bring home with them some fresh fish for supper.

The woman enjoyed greatly taking her children into town, watching their innocent eyes light up at the different shops' treasures, and always pointing at the new and exciting sights. But today, something was different.

The streets were filled with what appeared to be a mob of angry people, all yelling, and threatening the people in the shops. The woman backed up in fear, staring at the sight, fearful for what would happen if they didn't turn around and head back. But then everything happened too quickly. Screams began filling the street, and the woman could see people going down with knives stabbed into them, blood already spilling. _Oh Light, they're killing people!_ The woman grabbed hold of her two children by their hands, and began running in the same direction the crowd was beginning to flee from the angry mob. Screams echoed through the streets, ringing in the woman's ears as she tried to keep a hold on her daughters', who were running as fast as their small legs could carry them. They were both crying, questioning their mama as to why they were running, but the woman had no answers; she continued to drag them through the crowd.

She held on to her young ones' hands as tightly as she could, but with panicking people pushing and shoving their way through, as hard as she tried to grip her daughters' hands, she felt her youngest slip from her grip with a startled scream, and it all happened in the blink of an eye. The woman stopped and turned, trying to find any sign of her youngest. Screaming out her name, calling out, asking passerby's if they saw a little girl with dark brown hair, but nobody stopped to listen. The woman began frantically searching, but to no avail. Her oldest daughter began to cry for her little sister, and as she did, the woman bent down quickly, and pulled her daughter into a hug, staring around wide-eyed for any sign of her baby.

"Hush now, Egwene," Marin Al'Vere soothed nervously, as a tear came to her eye, looking around the crowd. "We will find her."


	2. Chapter One

Rynna T'eriavelle glanced out the window as she worked tiresomely at peeling the potatoes for supper. The sweat was forming on her brow as a result of the last hours work, but she managed a smile as she saw young Rissa outside, feeding the lambs. Rissa had always been the first to accept the chore of feeding the animals.

Rynna began to hum a tune; a tune she had hummed to Rissa when she was only a small child, frightened and alone, cradled in her arms. Rynna's memories of that day had never lost its vividness, even some fifteen years later. Even her husband Bron talked as though it had only happened a week ago. The Light shone on them that day, when they decided to pass through a small town near Emond's Field.

Bron and Rynna had been traveling for what had seemed like months, escaping from their homeland of Tear. Commoners such as themselves were no longer treated with civility in Tear, now overrun by High Lords, so Bron and Rynna headed west with Almoth Plain in sight. Bron's grandparents had lived there years ago, and had left in his name a small farm just outside of Almoth Plain; that was where the couple was headed.

They traveled through many towns and cities, but had stopped for a night's sleep in a town just outside of Emond's Field in the Two Rivers. The inn had provided them with a meal and a night's stay for a reasonable fee. They hadn't been at the inn for very long when shouts broke out in the streets before dark, and killings began to take place. Bron and Rynna quickly packed up their few belongings, saddled their horses, and managed to ride away, as fast as they could, away from the mob and fleeing crowd.

As they began to ride away in the opposite direction, with regrets of having to go around the Two Rivers, which would add more time to their tiresome travels, Rynna heard something. A child, crying. Rynna turned and there she saw a small child, who couldn't have been more than a year old, with a small cut on her face, and tears staining her rosy cheeks. Rynna and Bron jumped from their horses and ran to the girl, looking around for any sign of the child's mother, or father, but everyone had dashed off in the opposite direction, followed by the murderous mob. There seemed to be little choice; either leave the child for the mob to find, or take her with them to Almoth Plain, to raise her and protect her.

Bron and Rynna rode the rest of the way to Almoth Plain, having to stop more frequently now, having a small child to take care of, but they did make it to their destination before winter, and here, on the T'eriaville farm, was where they raised young Rissa, now sixteen years old, who knew very little of her life before Almoth Plain; only that Bron and Rynna were not her true father and mother, and that she had been rescued by them. Rissa had never shown much interest in her prior Two River's life; she had always been quite content with her life on the farm with Bron and Rynna as the only parents she had ever known.

* * *

Rissa sat herself down on the grassy hill in the sheep pen, and smiled to herself as the baby lambs came running. She reached into her feed bag, and pulled out some food to give to the baby lambs.

"There you are." She cooed as she allowed the lamb's to scramble around her open hands, who nibbled on her fingers accidentally when trying to eat the food. Rissa sighed contently as she looked up to see her mother watching her from the kitchen window. Rissa smiled, and waved. Rynna waved back with a wink.

"Alright, that's all I have." Rissa said to the lambs, as she stood up, the lambs following her, nuzzling against her leg as she left the sheep pen.

Rissa went about finishing the rest of her chores; feeding the chickens, milking the cows, collecting the hen's eggs. When she was finally finished, she went back to the lambs, and sat among them, pulling out her leather-bound journal she enjoyed writing in. She always kept it in a small pouch she nearly always carried around with her.

Rissa laid down on the grass, as the baby lambs came and snuggled around her affectionately; she opened her book.

"Rissa, that's no way to act like a lady." Rynna shouted from the doorway of the small cottage, wiping her hands on her apron. "Ladies do not spend their time in sheep's pens, down in the dirt. Come now, get up, it's nearly time for supper."

Rissa watched Rynna go back inside. Light, she hated when they told her to act like a lady. She _hated_ it.

She sat up obediently, and placed her book in her pouch, and as she did, she glared ahead at a tree. She thought about Rynna's rules about being a lady, and how much she resented them. She loved Rynna as her own mother, but they were so different; Rissa often wondered if she truly was more like her real parents, whoever they were, wherever they were.

Her eyes never left the tree, as she thought about her life, and without warning, the tree burst into flames! Rissa jumped up quickly, looking around for some logical source for the fire, but there was nothing; only her.

"Father!" She screamed out, as Bron came running from the barn, with a bucket of water, dousing the flames. Back and forth he ran, as Rynna ran from the house with a bucket of her.

"Don't just stand there, girl. Grab yourself a bucket, before the whole farm gets burnt to a crisp!" Rynna yelled. Rissa ran around the house, obeying her mother. As she filled her bucket with water at the well, she found herself trying to find an explanation, some sensible explanation, but nothing came to mind. The only thing that made sense to her was that feeling that ran through her when that tree caught on fire. That feeling of power. She shook it off. _Light, I didn't do it. How could I have?_ No matter how many times she tried to convince herself she couldn't have been responsible, she could not convince herself.


	3. Chapter Two

Rissa laid awake in her bed, staring at the charred black spot on her ceiling. The lamp that was lit in the corner of her room danced in its glass dome. Everything was silent, except for the sound of Rissa's steady breathing, as she concentrated on the burnt mark. She still couldn't understand how she did it, or how the tree outside caught fire last month. That had been the first of many instances of strange happenings; things she couldn't explain. Over the last month, she had come to realize these things were not soley coincidence, and she learned that if she concentrated hard enough, she could make things happen. She was beyond the naivety of believing in coincidences now. Too much had happened.

She hadn't told Rynna and Bron about what she was learning - they would have thought she was crazy. _Light, maybe I am crazy._ She pondered to herself as she stared at the black mess above her that night; that had been her doing too. At least, she believed it was. _Am I going mad?_

Rissa didn't always feel like she was able to control these things, whatever they were. If she concentrated hard enough, she could make things happen the way she wanted to, but for the most part, they were just happening, whenever she got angry, or sad, or overly content. She didn't like that - there had been too many bush fires recently. Bron was getting angry, and frustrated, not knowing what could possibly be starting them. Rissa felt guilty.

She remembered hearing stories about women who called themselves Aes Sedai, who possessed something called The One Power, or something about the True Source. Rynna used to scold her when she was a child, that if she didn't behave herself, she would find an Aes Sedai and turn her over to them, and see how much she enjoyed _their_ rules. Rissa only knew they were able to do things with this Power. _Is that what I'm doing? Am I touching the True Source, or whatever it's called?_ She wondered to herself. She found herself growing frustrated, as she glared at the spot on her ceiling, and began to smell smoke immediately. Sighing, she concentrated hard, and pulled whatever it was she was doing, back inside of herself. The smoke disappeared, and the smell that filled her nostrils began to fade. _If I can do things like this, what else can I do? Light, what am I to do? This makes no sense to me._

"Rissa!" Rissa jumped from her bed, her nightgown hovering just above her ankles. She had no time to think, as Rynna burst through Rissa's bedroom door, eyes as wide as saucers, as she breathed heavily.

"Get your cloak, girl, we have to get out of here!" Rynna cried, as she picked up Rissa's brown-hooded cloak and tossed it at her. Rissa began to feel her own heart racing.

"What's going on?" Rissa asked, tying the cloak around her neck. Rynna had no answer, as she fussed over getting Rissa out of her room, and outside as quickly as possible.

"Mother!" Rissa shouted, trying to pull back, wanting answers. Rynna glared at her, but also looking around the farm, as though searching for Brom.

"The Seanchan! They are _here_, Rissa. They...they are looking for..._you!_" Rynna hissed, as she reached over and pulled Rissa's hood up, hiding Rissa's face as best as possible. Rissa's breath caught in her throat.

"Me? Why?" She whispered. Rynna sighed out loud.

"I do not know, child. Your father and I were sleeping, when we heard a commotion out here. Bron came out and saw some Seanchan soldiers hiding out behind the house. He overheard them say your name, Rissa. They are here for you, for what I do not know. Your father is scouting the farm, to see how many soldiers there are. You know he was always good at spotting." She had tears in her eyes, and fear glazed over them. Rissa couldn't believe what was happening. She knew nothing about the Seanchan; she had never even heard of them. What did they want with her?

Rissa glanced nervously around the farm and saw nothing, but she knew somewhere out there were men, who had come all this way for her. _But why? Light, why? _All she wanted to do was cry.

Bron came running toward them at top speed, and stopped in front of them at a slide.

"Father, what's going on?" Rissa asked, desperate for answers. Bron was out of breath, and stared at his wife before he answered his daughter's question.

"I heard another say they were here for Rissa." He whispered, staring at Rissa with fear in his eyes. "He said they came because they knew what she could do, and needed to take her captive because of it." He looked at Rissa as though expecting an explanation. Rissa couldn't breath; the Power. The Seanchan were after her, because of her Power.

"I-"

"No time, Rissa, no time! There are more than a hundred soldiers surrounding the area." Bron said, and Rissa's eyes widened as Rynna grabbed hold of her, to steady her.

"What are we going to do?" Rynna hissed, looking around, as her hands trembled against Rissa's skin. Bron seemed at a loss, and Rissa felt all hope slipping fast. If her father didn't know what to do, there was no hope.

That was when they heard faint horse hooves approaching. Bron turned so quickly it made Rissa want to scream.

"They are coming!" Bron grabbed hold of Rissa's arm and began dragging her away from the sound of the hooves. Rissa turned around in just enough time to see a tear falling from Rynna's face, but she remained rooted to where she was. Rissa was about to shout out but Bron pulled at her harder, until they reached the bottom of the hill. He pushed her into the horse's stable, and knelt down quickly.

"Whatever happens, whatever you see, or whatever you hear, do _not_ leave this stable! You have to stay away from these people; I do not know what they want from you, but Rissa, do _not_ leave this stable, do you understand me?" Bron asked, as his eyes locked on Rissa's more intently than ever. Rissa could feel the fear behind them.

"Father, no, I-"

"Rissa, I mean it!" Bron shouted, and turned his head quickly, hearing the approaching hooves coming closer.

"Father." Rissa felt the tears streaming down her face.

"Do not move, Rissa." He paused, staring at her for only a moment, before he jumped up and ran. Rissa wanted to yell after him, but she remained in the stable, as quiet as she could be.

She heard the horse's hooves approaching, more than one. She guessed about ten or so. She could hear faint voices off in the distance, two she recognized as her own parents. She could not distinguish what was being said, but the unfamiliar voices were loud, and they sounded angry. Rissa cried silently, wanting nothing more than to go to her parents. Who were these Seanchan people, and what did they want with her?

She heard a scream, and she nearly screamed out herself, recognizing the scream as Rynna's. As though synchronized with Rynna's scream, she heard the sound of a sword being drawn quickly. Metal against metal, and then against flesh. Rynna's screams were no more, and once more the sword struck something, and Rissa no longer heard Bron's voice. Rissa's sobs were stuck in her throat. It was silent; what had they done?

Rissa backed up against the stable wall as far as possible, and wrapped her cloak around herself tightly. She heard the approaching horse grow closer, and closer, and then she heard the soldiers dismount. From inside the stable, she could see the shadows surrounding the stable. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hand, to silence her breathing.

"Did you find her?" One of the soldiers, probably a commander of some sort, demanded.

"No sir, she is nowhere to be found." Another reported.

"Continue your search. She could not have gone far. We are not leaving without the little witch." The first said, and the footsteps clattered around where she was hidden. Rissa had never felt more fear than she had in her whole life. These men were after her, because of something she hadn't asked for; something she hadn't wanted. Were they going to kill her for it?

"Check in the stables!" The commander yelled out and Rissa felt her heart leap in her stomach, as she tried to move over, in a desperate attempt to hide herself better, but it was too late. One of the soldiers entered the stable, and stared right at her. His grin was proud, as he snickered to himself.

"So there you are." He mocked, as he reached out and grabbed hold of Rissa, pulling her out of the stable roughly. Rissa struggled as fiercely as possible, trying to bite, or claw, or anything, but suddenly, there were more men on top of her, as they bound her wrists together tightly.

"Release me, please." She pleaded. "Release my parents." Tears streaked her face, and blurred her vision, as the rough men pushed her around, and laughed at her. The commander stopped in front of her, and eyed her. Rissa shook with fear, as she felt the soldiers' grip behind her.

"You've already given us more trouble than you're worth, little miss." He said, as he drew his sword, and placed it against Rissa's throat. "Do not make me angry." Rissa nodded her understanding, as the commander hesitantly sheathed his sword.

"Tiryn, she will ride with you." The commander motioned a soldier on a horse toward them, and then eyed another. "Jacar, burn the place." Rissa's tears went unnoticed, as three of the soldiers grabbed hold of her and dragged her over to where Tiryn's horse was. Tiryn, who was a young man with scars alongside his face, reached down and grabbed hold of Rissa, pulling her up in front of him. He bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Don't you be trying _anything_, while I'm riding. You sit still, and enjoy the ride." He said quietly, but snickered to himself as he kicked the sides of his mare, causing them to jump forward at top speed. Rissa looked over and saw what would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life. As Tiryn rode from the farm Rissa grew up on, the last image she saw was that of Rynna and Brom, dead on the grass, blood flooding around them, and her cottage, already engulfed in flames.


	4. Chapter Three

"Light, if I have to scrub another pot..." Egwene Al'Vere could feel her own face flaming with anger, unable to finish her own sentence. Her calloused hands ached against the rough cloth she had used for the past six hours, scrubbing away all kinds of grime and grease. Her best friend, Elayne Trakand sighed, and shook her head.

"Egwene, it is our own faults we are here. This is a just punishment. My mother always did believe in justice." Elayne said with a hint of bitterness. Her mother was the Queen of Andor, making Elayne the Daughter-Heir. She couldn't help herself; sometimes she still thought like a noble, even though she was a long way from home.

"If we had been in our rooms when we were supposed to be, instead of out in the gardens, giggling over who was the best looking boy out of the lot of them...Light, that's the last time I show an interest in those boys who are training to become Warders." Elayne began scrubbing harder, coughing at the smell of leftover food. Egwene sighed.

"The very idea of having a curfew. I am nineteen years old. I am not a child." She mumbled.

"We are in the eyes of the Aes Sedai, Egwene. Being a Novice in the Tower is just like being a child. Rules to obey, punishments if they are broken. Light, they even _call_ us child. They will not consider us adults until we are raised to the shawl, Egwene." Elayne replied. Egwene knew she was right. Still, when she had arrived at the White Tower only months ago, she had never expected it to be so difficult. She had scrubbed more pots in the last few months than in her entire lifetime growing up in the Two Rivers. Those days seemed so distant to her now; her life had changed so drastically over the past year. Yet she could still remember clearly the day an Aes Sedai named Moiraine had traveled into the Two Rivers, thus changing her life forever, and the lives of others. Moiraine had told her she had the spark, the True source, and could become one of the most powerful Aes Sedai of all time if only she had the training, and that was when Egwene agreed to come to the White Tower. She wouldn't say she regretted it exactly, but there were days she understood why there were so many runaway Novices every month.

"It just isn't fair. Nynaeve doesn't have to scrub pots." Egwene added, as she rolled one pot aside, only to grab another from the endless supply.

"Nynaeve is Accepted. Of course she doesn't have to scrub pots." Elayne giggled a little, and Egwene sighed. Nynaeve was from the same village as Egwene, but a handful of years older than she. Nynaeve had been the village Wisdom in the Two Rivers, and Egwene training as her apprentice when Moiraine had shown up. Nynaeve had eventually agreed to go to the Tower to train, after Moiraine sensed the spark in Nynaeve as well, but Nynaeve had her own reasons. She had held a grudge toward Moiraine ever since she had disrupted all their lives, and put them in danger more than once. Nynaeve was determined to become Aes Sedai for reasons Egwene couldn't begin to understand, but Nynaeve had been raised to Accepted on their first day at the Tower. She had never had to spend a single day in the plain white dress, as a Novice. For that, Egwene had been jealous, a feeling she would never express to Nynaeve. There was still that little girl inside who had been sent to Nynaeve more than once for lying, or cursing, and endured punishment from the village Wisdom. Egwene still saw Nynaeve as Wisdom, not as a fellow student training to be raised to the shawl.

"I think Sheriam enjoys punishing her Novices." Elayne said suddenly, causing even Egwene to laugh. The Mistress of Novices was a hard woman, who stirred fear into the girls who had caused trouble.

"I think so too. Though sometimes I wish she would just strap me and be done with it. I sometimes think I would prefer that to endless hours of scrubbing pots." Egwene replied. Elayne shook her head, sticking her head up from her work.

"You would rather be strapped." She said incredulously. "Trust me, Egwene. Sheriam uses the One Power to punish physically, and...well, we should consider ourselves lucky to be scrubbing pots." She unconsciously winced, and Egwene could tell she was remembering a time when she had encountered that punishment from Sheriam, and was trying hard to forget it. Egwene sighed. Elayne did know a bit more about the Tower than she did, as she had been there months before Egwene and Nynaeve had arrived.

"How many more pots are left?" Egwene asked tiresomely. Elayne glared at her, daring her to look at the pile of pots in the corner. Egwene shook her head.

"On second thought," She said, as she went back to scrubbing. "I do not think I want to know."

* * *

Nynaeve Al'Meara was seated on a stool in her room in the Accepted quarters, staring ahead at a water goblet resting firmly on the table on the other side of the room. She was struggling to embrace the True Source, imagining herself as a rosebud, and doing all the exercises she had been trained to follow, yet no matter how hard she tried, she was unable to embrace _saidar_, the female half of the True Source. It was beginning to anger her, and the more angry she got, the closer she felt to _saidar, _until finally she was able to let the sweetness fill her. She wrapped weaves of Air around the water goblet and lifted it, and she smiled to herself at her accomplishment, feeling the anger leaving slowly. As the anger disappeared, so did the weaves of Air, and the water goblet came crashing to the ground. Nynaeve grumbled to herself, as she crossed her arms underneath her breasts. The Aes Sedai had told her about women like her, Wilders as they were called, or women who discovered they could channel before the White Tower got a hold of them. Women who were untrained; women like Nynaeve. Typically, Wilders had what the Aes Sedai called a block, or something that prevented them from channeling at will. Nynaeve's block was anger; she could only channel when she was angry. True, she was easily angered more often than not, but what angered her the most was not being able to channel when she wanted to. _Light, I will get past this block, I _will!

She jumped when her bedroom door opened and Egwene poked her head inside. Nynaeve grumbled under her breath; the girl never knocked. _One of these days, I will teach that girl some manners._

"Have you finished scrubbing your pots for the day then?" Nynaeve asked, as she got up and knelt by the broken shards of glass, picking them up slowly. Egwene staggered over to Nynaeve's bed and fell upon it, exhaling deeply.

"I never want to scrub another pot as long as I live." She sighed. "I still have two lectures to attend before sunset, and Sheriam is making Elayne and I go to bed early so we will learn to respect our curfew. I know it is meant to be a punishment, but I think tonight, I will welcome to early bedtime." Nynaeve nodded, as she placed the pieces of broken glass on the table, trying not to make a large show of it, but Egwene had noticed, and smiled sympathetically.

"Were you practicing your weaves of Air?" She asked. Nynaeve gave her a scowl, hoping it was masking her true feelings of embarrassment. Egwene sighed.

"At least you are Accepted. Light, I cannot wait to be raised to Accepted. Moiraine said I was strong in the Power, and yet I am still only a Novice." She complained. Nynaeve resumed her spot on the stool.

"We have only been here for a few months, Egwene. These things take time." She replied, secretly glad she had never had to endure the chores the Novices were given. Watching Egwene the last few months had been difficult; the poor girl was forming black circles under her eyes from being over-tired. Time would train Egwene to endure the chores without that feeling of exhaustion, Nynaeve hoped. The Aes Sedai were incredibly strict, even with the Accepted. In Aes Sedai eyes, Novices and Accepted were children, but still a prize they were protective of. There were not many women left who could channel, so the Aes Sedai kept a close reign on the few who were willing to learn. The many girls who had tried to run away had found themselves back in the Tower, and punished severely. It was common sense to Nynaeve now; once you arrived at the Tower, you didn't leave the Tower until you became Aes Sedai.

"I wonder if my sister can channel." Egwene said in a quiet voice, causing Nynaeve's stomach to sink. She hadn't expected Egwene to bring this up. She hadn't in a few years, and Nynaeve looked at her sympathetically.

"Egwene, don't-"

"Why not? Verin Sedai told me sometimes the ability to channel can run in families." Egwene said, a little too defensively. She never looked at Nynaeve once.

"Egwene, it's been sixteen years." Nynaeve said quietly. Egwene shook her head vigorously.

"I will not believe she is dead!" She said loudly. "I _cannot_ believe she is dead." Nynaeve thought she saw a tear in the corner of Egwene's eye. She wondered what brought this all on so suddenly. After all, Egwene had only been a child of three years when Marin Al'Vere had come running back to the Two Rivers in hysterics. Nynaeve had been an apprentice to the Wisdom at the time, and remembered stirring some special herbs into a tea to help Marin calm down, as young Egwene cried in her lap. There had not been signs, or news of Marin's youngest daughter in the days to come, or years. She had simply disappeared.

"Nynaeve, I do not remember much, but I have been thinking of her recently. I do not know why, but ever since we've been at the Tower...maybe I'm just homesick, and thinking about home makes me...makes me think of her." Egwene sighed. "I do not remember much, but I do remember how much I loved her, and how responsible I felt for her."

"Egwene, you were only a child." Nynaeve tried. Egwene nodded.

"I know, but so was she. I can't bear to think of what could have happened to her, but I do not believe she is dead. I mean, Light, who would kill a child?" She asked, raising her voice slightly. Nynaeve understood Egwene's anger; Marin's youngest child, whom she had given the name Ketia, had been swept away by a mob in the city. It was an unfair circumstance; one Marin had never been able to stop blaming herself for.

Nynaeve's memories of Ketia were a little better than Egwene's, as she was much older, though they were still vague. Nynaeve was training to become Wisdom of the Two Rivers at the time Marin had become pregnant with her second child. Nynaeve was there when Marin gave birth to another girl, giving Egwene a younger sister. Ketia had looked just like Egwene, and Marin couldn't have been happier. Nynaeve also remembered helping to nurse Ketia back to health when she was six months old and had contracted a bad fever. Nynaeve only remembered bits and pieces of the young child, but the strongest memory for her was the birthmark Ketia had on her left shoulder blade. Nynaeve remembered how amazed she was at how Ketia's birthmark happened to be in the shape of a star. Marin had once told her, "It's what makes Ketia unique. We will always know Ketia because of her spark." Nynaeve smiled at the memory. Marin hadn't meant the birthmark alone, but her personality as well. Two Rivers girls were known to be stubborn and mule-headed at times, and she had known, even back then, Ketia would be no different. It saddened Nynaeve that Marin would never know if that were true.

"I only wish...I wish I could see her, know she is okay; alive." Egwene sniffed, as she quickly wiped a tear away, as though trying to hide it. Nynaeve stood from her stool, and joined Egwene on her bed, smoothing Egwene's hair. She managed a small smile.

"If wishes were wings..." She watched the young girl smile a little, and nod her head. Nynaeve didn't have any idea how Egwene must be feeling, but she could see by the pained expression on Egwene's face that is was weighing on her. _Why now? I have never heard her speak of her sister like this before._ Nynaeve sighed, and sat with the girl in silence until Egwene had to go to her Novice lecture. As Egwene left, Nynaeve couldn't help but wonder herself. Was Ketia still alive, and if she was, where was she, and what was she doing?


	5. Chapter Four

Jeyim Beshoal stifled a yawn as he ran a wet towel over another filthy table. Light, the men who came here were all animals. He had heard wonderful stories of innkeepers who kept their inns so well-kept and clean, even the nobles passing through were interested in staying. Jeyim had definitely never come across a noble stepping over his threshold, and he had a hunch he never would.

It wasn't where he wanted to be, but his father's sudden death had left him no choice but to upkeep the Singing Sister, in a city he had no desire to stay in. Light, it just seemed a dangerous place to be, especially in times such as these.

He coughed, as the stench of stale ale filled his nostrils. Drunken men disgusted him; men who had nothing better to do with their time but to fill up his inn, causing a scene and making a mess. Even some of the women were just as bad. What Jeyim wouldn't do to be able to burn this place down and move on. Poverty kept him from that dream.

Just old enough to shave, Jeyim was too young to be tied down to this place, still unmarried and childless, committed only to the Singing Sister. Only 18 years old himself, most of the men who came to this inn were years older than he, and definitely showed no respect toward him as an innkeeper. It was especially difficult when he had to throw disruptive men out of his inn; most laughed in his face.

The only consolation was the interesting people he would sometimes meet. No lords or ladies, but average folk just passing through, with stories from far away lands; places Jeyim dreamed of going. He would never even hear of these places if it weren't for those passerby's. He longed for those stories, as few and far between as they were.

This night was just like any other night, with the same group of drunken men, mostly soldiers, crowding around the same tables, talking about women in their usual slurred speech. Jeyim walked around, wiping tables, telling his serving maids to keep an eye on their money pouches, and masking an interest when the men attempted to include him in their drunken conversations.

Better than being outside, he thought. A heavy rainstorm had been blowing through the city for the last few days, not showing any signs of stopping. He could still feel the chill straight down to his bones; the same chill he felt every time that door was opened. The rain was coming down in sheets, and the wind blowing so hard, branches were falling from trees, but even so, the cold was the worst part about it. He didn't wish this storm on his worst enemy.

He was talking to Rua, one of his serving maids about keeping her purse tied tightly to her belt loop the next time, when he heard the bar door blow open, letting in that cold chill again.

"Close that door!" He shouted quickly, when the men began to grumble and yell. The door slammed shut and Jeyim had to squint to see who had entered the Singing Sister at this hour. He was surprised to see a young girl dressed in a simple brown dress, with a ripped gray cloak tied around her neck. She was obviously poor, as she gazed around the inn with deep brown eyes, shaking her wet hair slightly. She was shivering to the bone as she made a gesture as if she were going to take off her cloak, but then didn't. Jeyim wasn't an expert on women, Light, he barely spoke to them, but this girl appeared lost.

"Just keep an eye on your purse, Rua." He said absently, as he moved the girl on her way. Jeyim kept an eye on the stranger, who lingered near the door, shivering on the spot. She carried nothing with her, except the cloak on her back. What was a girl this young doing out this late at night, in a storm this bad, by herself? It wasn't right.

Jeyim approached her slowly, so as not to scare her. She seemed to be the type who would be easily frightened. Even though he tried to be gentle, she still jumped back when he approached her.

"It's alright, calm down!" He said as quietly as he could. The girl breathed out slowly, lifting her chin up. Jeyim wasn't sure, but it seemed she was trying to be brave.

"Are you alright?" Jeyim asked, forcing himself not to look at all the men who were grinning at the newcomer with hungry eyes. Jeyim hated that. _Light, they're pigs!_

"I...I am fine." The girl said with a shaky voice, but a strong voice. She was trying to mask her fears, Jeyim could tell. He was usually good at that sort of thing.

"Are you certain, miss?" He looked at her carefully. She was dripping from head to toe, and shivering every so slightly, as though trying to stop herself. "Would you care for a hot drink?" The girl considered him for a moment, staring at him with eyes that seemed to hold secrets, _painful_ secrets that haunted her very soul. He knew he would never forget those eyes.

"That would be lovely." She said in the meekest voice he had ever heard. "But...I am afraid I have no money." Jeyim wasn't surprised. She had nothing but her cloak with her; no money purse or saddle bags to bring in out of the rain, which meant she didn't have a horse. _How far did she travel? She doesn't look to be from around here._

"Do not worry, it's taken care of." He said as he led her to the bar, offering her a stool. He grimaced at the sight of it; how horrible for a young lady as beautiful as she to have to sit on such a grimy stool.

"Thank you." She managed, as she coughed a little. Jeyim offered a consoling smile as he peered over her shoulder to see the men still gaping. He would throw them out, but he didn't trust any of them to leave this poor girl on her own for even a second. She was too young to even be here on her own, he thought, let alone in the company of these drunken men.

"I didn't catch your name, miss. My name is Jeyim Beshoal." He offered a small bow with a wink as he filled a mug with hot cider. The girl nodded her thanks as she took the mug.

"Thank you for your kindness, lord Beshoal, I-" She was interrupted by a laugh erupting from the man's mouth.

"Miss, I am no lord, believe you me. All the same, I thank you. You may call me Jeyim." He said, still smiling. Jeyim was sure he saw a small smile coming from the girl.

"My name is Rissa." She said quietly as she hesitantly sipped her cider. Jeyim nodded.

"Well my fine lady, it is nice to make your acquaintance." He said, but noticed Rissa shaking her head promptly.

"I am no lady." She said with wide eyes. "Not even close." Jeyim puckered his brow. So defensive, so nervous. She still sat with her shoulders hunched and her eyes wide. Who was this girl?

"I do not mean to intrude, but what's a young girl like you doing out at this late hour alone?" He asked, leaning down on the bar, drawing closer so some level of privacy could be maintained. Rissa stared at him with those wide eyes. "I mean, Light, you can't be more than fifteen."

"Seventeen." Jeyim couldn't help but raise his eyebrows. The girl definitely did not look seventeen, only a year younger than he.

"Still, too young for a woman to be out at this hour when drunken pigs such as these roam the streets or inns. It is not safe for a woman to be alone at night, not anymore, I am afraid." Jeyim pointed out as he took Rissa's cup for a refill. Rissa sighed out, tracing an imaginary image in the wood.

"I fear I had no choice." She said, almost to herself. "The storm was too severe to go on. I had to step in if only just for a moment."

"I am glad you did. I don't wish my worst enemy in that storm." He looked around, then hesitantly lowered his voice. "What exactly are you running from?" Rissa's head shot up and her eyes locked on his. She swallowed hard.

"What? I-"

"I am no genius, but seems to me for a woman to be out in this weather this late at night, with nowhere to go is either running from something, or to something." Jeyim had seen many people pass through this city with the same intent, mostly running from something, exactly what he thought Rissa was doing. Rissa looked over her shoulder and scanned the room, breathing heavier. She turned back, tears threatening to spill, but she still spoke in that stubborn brave voice.

"I...I cannot talk about it, Jeyim. But...maybe you can help me. I'm...I'm lost. Light, I don't even know where I am right now." She said meekly as she pulled her cloak hood down. Jeyim was amazed at how well kept her smooth brown hair was, even in this weather. Short hair just brushing her shoulders was pulled back only halfway with a ragged old blue ribbon, but all in place. It didn't seem a hair was out of place.

"How long have you been traveling?" Jeyim asked. Rissa sighed.

"Weeks, Light, I've lost track." She began to visibly shake again. "I had no choice, Jeyim, you have to understand. I've been trying to get to where I need to go, but have had no luck come my way. Sleeping in bushes, stealing food wherever I could to even make it this far, and for all I know, I could be miles from where I want to be." Jeyim heard the desperation in her voice. Stories came and stories went, but hers was by far the most appealing. Leaning closer, he lifted his head.

"Light miss, where are you trying to go?" He said in a low whisper. She turned to him, gasping almost as she stared at him, breathing quickly with those wide eyes. Those dark brown wide eyes. He was lost in them, if only for a moment.

"You would not understand." She said quietly, through clenched teeth to keep them from chattering. Jeyim was no longer sure if she was still chilled, or nervous. He looked around and then back at her.

"Where are you trying to go?" He asked again, a little gentler this time. Rissa stared at him, considering him, debating whether or not to trust him. Jeyim had a feeling she trusted nobody but herself - she seemed that type of girl, but finally, she leaned in and whispered.

"I need to go to the White Tower." She said the final two words as though they were foreign to her. "I hear it's in Tar Valon. I need to see the Aes Sedai. But...I am a long way off, I fear. Light, I do not know how to travel, I do not even have a horse, I have been on my feet for weeks. For all I know, I could be going in circles." Jeyim's stomach clenched. The White Tower? Aes Sedai? Those women who could channel? His father had always told him to stay away from them, and definitely not to meddle in their affairs. What did Rissa want with them? Seeing the desperation in her eyes as she stared at the bar table, he gave a casual shrug.

"Miss, I think you can stop traveling. You are _in_ Tar Valon. The White Tower is not far from this inn." He said simply as Rissa's head shot up and stared at him incredulously. He even thought he saw a smile forming, but more than that, a sense of relief washed over her.

"This is Tar Valon?" She asked, eyes sparkling under the dim light of the lantern above her. Those were tears, Jeyim knew that much as he nodded his answer. Light, what was she running from that took her weeks to make it to Tar Valon in a desperate attempt to find Aes Sedai. This girl obviously had a story behind her; one he wanted desperately to know, but knew Rissa was not about to tell him. She was a very secretive young lady.

"I suppose I'd best be on my way then." Rissa said as she rose from her stool. "Which direction should I head?" Jeyim was about to protest, and offer the girl a room for the night to avoid having to go back out in this weather, when a familiar voice intruded.

"Child, you are _not _going anywhere." Rissa turned so fast it made Jeyim dizzy. The woman standing there with her yellow shawl tucked firmly around her shoulders had long dark hair and a certain agelessness about her. She hovered over Rissa by nearly a head, as she stared down at the young girl. Rissa's eyes were as wide as saucers now, as she stared at this woman. Rissa's outward expression of fear was enough to make even Jeyim frightened. What had this girl so afraid? It was only Jule.

"Jule, be kind, she's had a rough journey, and I am sure she is tired." Jeyim said as he stared at the dark-haired woman. The woman raised an eyebrow at him.

"Mind your manners, boy, that is Jule _Sedai_ to you." Jule replied with mysterious blue eyes. Rissa's eyes went even wider, if that were possible, as she mouthed the word _Sedai _to herself.

"Yes child, my name is Jule Sedai of the Yellow Ajah from the White Tower." She paused, seeming to look at something Jeyim couldn't see. "You can channel, can you not?" Jeyim's heart skipped a beat. Channel? Is that why Rissa wanted to go to the Tower? Light, nothing like this had ever happened in his inn before, not even when his _father_ was alive. Rissa swallowed hard and backed up a little.

"It is alright, child, there's no need to be frightened. Some of us are able to see the spark in you young ones, and I can see it in you. You are embracing it right now." Jule said in a calm voice Jeyim wasn't used to hearing. It wasn't that Jule Sedai was cruel, but she definitely spoke up quite often, especially toward the drunken men who called out smart comments toward her. She was definitely not one afraid to speak her mind. Jeyim barely saw the small nod Rissa gave. Jule smiled.

"You have come seeking us, haven't you? The Aes Sedai." She said. Rissa nodded again, not able to speak. Jeyim could see the familiar look in her eyes; threatening more tears. What had happened to this girl to make her so afraid of everything? What was she running from?

"Jeyim, I shall be staying the night. I do not wish to travel in these horrible conditions, no matter how close the Tower is. I request a room for the night." She gazed at Rissa for a moment. "One with two beds. This girl needs a good night's sleep and a bowl of soup. Can you arrange that, please?" She eyed him as Jeyim sighed, nodding. Jule nodded her approval as she turned back to Rissa, who was staring at the ground now. As Jeyim headed toward the kitchen to speak to his cook, he saw Jule gently take Rissa's arm, leading her toward the staircase leading toward the rooms.

"Come child." She said quietly as Rissa followed quite hesitantly. "There is much to discuss."


	6. Chapter Five

Jule Sedai eyed the girl with great interest as she stood by the door, holding her yellow shawl around her. The room was cold, she would have to talk to Jeyim about that. He really was too young to own an inn, but she knew it wasn't a life he had chosen. She had been around when Jeyim's father died suddenly, leaving everything to his only son. Jeyim really was a good lad, Jule thought. She really should thank him, after all. Those drunken mules downstairs would have attacked Rissa for sure, had it not been for Jeyim's presence. Jule's curiosity was definitely sparked, as she waited for the girl to finish her soup. There were so many questions she wanted to ask. This girl Rissa had great potential; Jule could see a strong spark in her. Just how strong in the Power was this stranger? Worse, how could she have learned so much, so fast? _Light, she's only a child. _Yet that hadn't stopped Egwene Al'Vere and the Daughter-Heir of Andor, Elayne. Both girls were only nineteen years old and already showing a strength in the Power that was beyond Aes Sedai comprehension. Still, Novices were becoming harder and harder to come by. Most had to be persuaded, or even dragged to the Tower to train, but _this_ girl had come looking for Aes Sedai. That had Jule's curiosity sparked.

"Is that better?" Jule asked as Rissa placed her spoon down gently on the table. Rissa nodded meekly as she folded her hands in her lap. Jule nodded and approached Rissa slowly, noticing as Rissa begin to tremble slightly. Jule Sedai tried to be sympathetic, but she couldn't understand what had the child so afraid. _She came looking for us, after all._ She thought to herself, as she lowered herself onto a stool beside Rissa.

"Tell me, child. Why have you come searching for Aes Sedai and the White Tower?" Jule asked in a quiet voice. She couldn't help but notice tears welling up in Rissa's eyes, but Rissa looked down, hiding her emotions.

"I had to." She replied. "It's...it's the only thing that makes sense to me anymore."

"So you know you can channel." Jule asked, getting a nod from Rissa as an answer. Jule knew it just as much as Rissa did; she could see it. The glow that surrounded Rissa was _saidar_, the female half of the True Source. Jule wasn't even sure Rissa was aware she was holding it.

"Where are you from, child? Where did you travel from?" Jule asked, and Rissa seemed to flinch in her seat.

"A-Almoth Plain. I'm from Almoth Plain." She replied, her voice shaking.

"You traveled here all the way from Almoth Plain?" Jule asked. Rissa shook her head.

"N-no, I traveled from...farther from Almoth Plain." Rissa replied, rubbing her eyes and shifting in her seat. Jule Sedai realized there was something Rissa was not telling. There were dark secrets in this girl's past; secrets Jule wasn't sure she would confide.

"When did you discover you could channel?" Jule asked, leaving the unanswered questions unanswered, for now.

"When I was sixteen." Rissa replied, breathing out slowly.

"And how old are you now?"

"Seventeen."

"You have been able to channel for a year, and you are only seeking us now?"

"I had no choice, Light, _they_ kept me-" She seemed to choke on her own breath as she stopped her sentence midway. Jule Sedai leaned in.

"_Who_ kept you? Kept you from coming here? Kept you in what way, Rissa? Light child, I can't help you if you don't tell me." She said. Rissa shook her head, still trembling.

"I don't need that sort of help, but I need to learn how to control this thing. This _channeling_. I need to know how to do it properly. Please Aes Sedai, tell me you'll take me to the Tower." The child seemed desperate as her big brown eyes remained locked on Jule.

"Of course I'll take you to the White Tower, girl, but there are things I need to know. Novices in the Tower are much like children, and as such, Aes Sedai are responsible for them in many ways. It is difficult to be responsible for a child when we know nothing about them, or where they have come from, so you must tell me. Why have you come seeking us?" Jule asked, knowing Rissa was a secretive young lady, but needing to know all the same. Rissa hung her head.

"I told you, I want to learn how to control it. I...I haven't been in control, and I want that control back." She explained, leaving Jule Sedai feeling even more confused.

"You have been through a lot, Rissa, and I must warn you, being a Novice in the White Tower is not an easy feat. It is a lot of work, and it takes a long time to learn how to use the One Power. Novices must learn patience." Jule said, as she stood up.

"But couldn't I learn a little faster? B-because I've already known how to channel for a year?" Rissa asked suddenly, causing Jule to turn around suddenly. She bent down to Rissa's level.

"You told me you can't control it, Rissa. It will take a long for us to figure out what you already know, and how fast you can learn before you can be well on your way." Jule noticed Rissa's expression of disappointment. "Why is it so urgent for you to learn how to channel?" Silence followed, as Rissa made a gesture that appeared to Jule as wiping a tear away, but Rissa finally looked up, but not at Jule Sedai. She stared at the wall in front of her.

"I just want my life back." She whispered in a distant voice, as she trembled for a moment. Jule Sedai exhaled, feeling frustrated. This one was going to be difficult, but she couldn't help but feel saddened and frightened by the pain those brown eyes held. Those eyes had seen horrors that no girl that young should ever have to see, and yet all the same, there it was.

"Child, you must sleep. You have been traveling for a long time, and need a warm bed for the night." Jule took hold of Rissa's arm and pulled her up, as she placed a hand on Rissa's back. Jule nearly jumped out of her skin when Rissa let out a painful wail, pulling away from Jule.

"Girl, what is the matter?" Jule asked, feeling her heart racing. Rissa swallowed hard, wincing in pain.

"I am sorry, it is just...my back has been...sore for quite some time, and..." Jule couldn't help but notice the tears starting to form in the young girl's eyes, no matter how much Rissa tried to turn her face away. Jule stepped forward and stared at Rissa seriously.

"What has happened to you, child?" She asked quietly, hoping to find out something, _anything_ that would help. Rissa swallowed hard, staring up at Jule Sedai with those wide, saucer-like brown eyes, until finally she shook her head.

"Nothing has happened to me, Jule Sedai. My back is just...sore." She wasn't a very good liar, Jule Sedai had learned so far; she knew she would have to discuss with Rissa the Three Oaths Aes Sedai had to take when they were raised to the shawl, especially the one that prevented them from any sort of lying. Jule was sympathetic, though. She wouldn't begin to lecture to Rissa tonight. Whatever she had been through was still very much fresh in her mind, and causing her much distress.

"Let me take a look, child." She said quietly, as she took hold of Rissa's arms, spinning her around to face the other wall. Jule carefully unbuttoned the back of Rissa's dress, and was surprised when her back was exposed. It made no sense; Rissa was wincing in pain, and yet there were no marks on her back to be seen.

"Child, there is nothing here." She said, as she looked again.

"There wouldn't be..." Rissa mumbled, barely audible, but Jule heard her. She didn't ask though, she only gently touched her hands on Rissa's back. She almost yelped in surprise. Immediately, she could feel it. The One Power had been used to hurt Rissa, _that_ was why there were no marks to be seen. Jule shook her head in shock.

"Rissa, have you ever met an Aes Sedai before myself?" Jule asked, trying to sound casual. Rissa answered with a shake of her head. Jule couldn't understand. The only other thing that made sense was..._no, who would do this to themselves? Could she have used the One Power to hurt herself? But why?_ Jule sighed.

"Child, hold still for a moment, this may feel strange." She pressed her fingers on either side of Rissa's spine and began to channel. She ignored the girl, who's back arched and a strangled sound came from Rissa's mouth. Jule was used to this; Healing was not the most pleasant experience, especially for those who had never experienced it before.

Jule released her hands from Rissa only seconds later, as Rissa let out a long breath, panting.

"Is that better?" Jule asked, as she grasped her yellow shawl. Yellows were known for their Healing capabilities, and it barely fazed her anymore to perform Healing on anyone. She truly was one of the best Healers in the Tower. Rissa's head turned and those wide eyes locked on Jule's.

"It's...it's gone. How...how did you-"

"I Healed you, child. Now, I wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly felt very tired. Healing takes a lot out of a person, and you have been traveling for weeks already. I want you to get into bed right now and sleep. We will leave in the morning to go to the White Tower." Jule walked away from Rissa, and peered over her shoulder to see Rissa walking over to her bed, gently touching her own back as she went. Jule sighed as she watched the young girl readying herself for bed. _Where has she come from? Worse, why won't she tell me? Light, I hope she is not trouble, though she hardly seems the troubling type. _Jule leaned against the wall, still watching. _I suppose only time will tell._


	7. Chapter Six

Parting the Silk became Honeymoon Kisses the Honeyrose, and then ended with Falling Leaf as the girls watched Gawyn fall to his knees in defeat. His partner lowered his practice sword with a bow, as he offered Gawyn his hand. Gawyn accepted the grasp gratefully, and was pulled up to receive a friendly tap on the back. Egwene and Elayne still applauded from the sides of the field, watching intently. They had been watching for almost an hour now, as they sat under the blazing sun. The field was still wet, from the rainstorm that had devoured the city the night before, causing more difficulty for the boys who were training, as they slipped around in the mud. Yet still, they practiced the sword. Warders had to know how to fight in all conditions, even rain.

"Light, they're getting much better, aren't they?" Egwene asked as Elayne's brother, Gawyn stood up, and faced his opponent for another duel. Egwene offered him a quick wave to Gawyn when he turned quickly to acknowledge his sister and his friend. Elayne sighed.

"I thought we had agreed we were finished watching the boys train to become Warders." She pointed out as she arranged her skirts. She unconsciously rubbed her hands together, which still felt numb from all the scrubbing they had done over the last few days.

"Only when it is against the rules. We are not breaking curfew right now, we have free time. Novices are allowed to walk the gardens during free time. What else could we be doing?" Egwene asked, as her eyes followed Gawyn across the field, dancing with his opponent in a duel that would have been dangerous, had they not been using practice swords.

"Perhaps we could go down to the kitchens and scrub some more pots. If the Mistress of the Kitchens sees us taking initiative on our own, maybe she'll tell Sheriam and she'll lessen our punishment." Elayne suggested, still rubbing her hands together, dreading the very thought of more pots. Egwene seemed to be thinking the same thing, as she sighed and hung her head.

"Oh Elayne, must we?" She asked, peering Gawyn's way once more. The very idea of having to choose between scrubbing pots and watching the boys' practice. It didn't seem right.

"You know Sheriam shines on Novices who take their punishment seriously. You've seen it yourself. When Novices show they take their punishment with a grain of salt, she tends to go easier on them. Think of it, Egwene. We may not have to scrub pots much longer, after all." Elayne replied, desperate to be away from those dreaded pots for good. Light, she was sure her nose had stopped working from having to scrub away all those horrid smells.

"Light, Elayne, I've already scrubbed more than I can count, and Nynaeve is not making it easy for me. She keeps reminding me in her own little way that _she _does not have to scrub pots." Egwene complained. Truth be told, Egwene was just bitter. Nynaeve really had only mentioned it once, in passing. _When you become an Accepted, you will leave the pots behind._ Was really all she had said, but Egwene had had enough of the pots; _anything_ Nynaeve said would anger her.

"She'd best be careful not to get too wool-headed. It's not beyond Sheriam to give Nynaeve a similar punishment. Accepted may be above Novices, but Accepted are still under Sheriam. If she keeps up with that attitude, she may find herself in the kitchens with us." Elayne pointed out as she rose to her feet. Egwene knew her friend was right; Sheriam would more than likely give them less pots to scrub if they went to the kitchens during their free time. Still, it took everything Egwene had to force herself to go. Finally, she sighed, and followed Elayne at last.

"I think that would be a sight to see." Egwene giggled a little, as the girls lifted their skirts to avoid the mud from ruining their white dresses. "Nynaeve, who dislikes _anybody_ telling her what to do, scrubbing pots." Elayne joined her in her laughter.

"Yes, she would definitely have a few choice words to say about that, I should think." She replied, as the girls hopped over a puddle.

"Egwene." Elayne said after a few moments. "Do you think you'll have a Warder when you become Aes Sedai?" She asked, as they headed back toward the Tower. Egwene shrugged, and nearly tripped as her foot got stuck in a thick of mud.

"I don't know. I suppose I will. I'm not planning on becoming a Red, after all." She explained. Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah were known for their hatred toward men, and never had a Warder. Their goals included hunting down men who could channel, believing strongly in the danger and destruction that could bring, and gentling them, stripping them of any channeling capabilities, causing them to feel empty, and eventually go mad, and even die.

"I suppose I will as well. Although, I must say, the boys here now need to do a lot of work if they're going to be Warders for Aes Sedai." Elayne added, shaking her head. "Especially Gawyn."

"You're only saying that because he is your brother, Elayne. I think his form is perfect." Egwene said and Elayne stared at her with raised eyebrows.

"Light, Egwene, are you falling in love with my brother?" She asked. Egwene looked at her with wide eyes of surprise, nearly tripping once again, yet there was no mud puddle this time.

"In love with Gawyn? No! Light, Elayne, I was just saying, out of the lot of them, he's doing very well." She explained. Elayne nodded, but she wasn't so sure. After all, Egwene hadn't really been watching the other boys, just Gawyn, Elayne was sure of it.

They started toward the kitchens when they entered the Tower. Elayne sighed, as she scrubbed her shoes on the carpet provided, so as not to track mud throughout the Tower. It would be just like Sheriam to put them to work scrubbing mud off the floors next.

"I hope this works. I do not know how much more of these pots I can scrub." She said.

"Elayne, who is that?" Elayne had barely noticed Egwene had stopped in the front foyer of the Tower. Elayne turned to see Egwene staring down the hall. There was Jule Sedai, a well-known Yellow who taught a few of the Novice classes, and Healed a few of the girls' cuts and bruises over the last few months. But that wasn't what had caught Egwene's eye. There was a young girl meekly following Jule toward the Novice quarters, head down, eyes fixed on the ground. The girl looked worn and weary, with a torn cloak and messy hair.

"I don't know. I have never seen her before." Elayne replied, once she had a good look.

"Do you think Jule Sedai found a new Novice?" Egwene asked. "Light, they're becoming harder and harder to find."

"I don't know, but she's holding _saidar._ Look." Egwene looked and saw the familiar glow surrounding the girl. It was something women who could channel could see around other women who could channel, no matter the strength in the Power.

"Why isn't Jule stopping her? We were hardly allowed to even _think_ about holding _saidar_ without an Aes Sedai watching." Egwene said, almost bitterly, remembering the times she had been strapped in Novice lectures when she had tried to go ahead with instructions before she was told to.

"Perhaps there is more to this than meets the eye." Elayne said. "Lini always said to look beyond the horizon." Lini was Elayne's childhood nurse, from when she was being raised in Caemlyn, under her mother's rule as Queen of Andor. Her mother was still in Caemlyn, and had sent Elayne and Gawyn to the White Tower to train to become Aes Sedai and Warder.

Jule Sedai and the young girl continued along, as Jule Sedai walked with Aes Sedai dignity and serenity, which contrasted greatly with the young girl, who appeared tired, worn out and frightened. Egwene felt strangely curious about this stranger, perhaps because she would be the first Novice since she herself came to the Tower, but it seemed more than that; Egwene could not quite put her finger on it.

"I am sure we will discover who she is soon enough. If she is a new Novice, she will be in our quarters tonight. We can introduce ourselves then." Elayne sighed, rolling up her sleeves. "In the meantime, perhaps we should introduce ourselves to some new pots."

Egwene followed Elayne hesitantly, stopping to stare over her shoulder at Jule Sedai, who was leading the young girl up the narrow staircase that led to the Novice quarters. Egwene sighed to herself as she finally turned away, and thought about what Elayne had said. _Look beyond the horizon._ She puckered her brow. _Perhaps there really is more to this than meets the eye._


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Rissa tugged at the pure white dress that she had been put in only hours ago. Light it felt different than the itchy brown wool dress she had been wearing for weeks now. It was refreshing to wear something different.

Upon their arrival at the White Tower, Jule first took Rissa for a bath, which Rissa enjoyed immensely. She couldn't remember the last time she had a _real_ bath. Jule had complained of her taking too long, and then scolded her for running her fingers through her smoothly brushed hair, like a small child.

As soon as Rissa was put in white, Jule Sedai took her up to meet Sheriam Sedai, whom she referred to as the Mistress of the Novices. Jule told her she was expected to respect all Aes Sedai, and that began now. There were so many rules she had to learn, especially about Aes Sedai respect. She was not to speak unless Aes Sedai instructed her to. She was not to question Aes Sedai authority. She was not to disobey Aes Sedai instructions. Jule also told her she was to curtsy to every Aes Sedai she spoke to, and to refer to every Aes Sedai by their proper title. So Rissa couldn't help but feel awkward when she was pushed into Sheriam Sedai's office, as Jule waited for her outside.

Rissa lowered herself into an awkward curtsy. Light, who had she ever curtsied for? She was raised on a farm, not with nobles and royalties. Sheriam Sedai had told to her to come forward.

"Yes Sheriam Sedai." Rissa had said meekly, walking forward. Her heart was pounding wildly against her chest, fear overwhelming her. This _was_ what she wanted, she wanted to be trained in the Tower, to gain control over her life, but she never thought it would be this frightening.

Sheriam had walked her through a few exercises she said were essential to test her strength in the Power. Rissa breezed through them, finding them simple enough, but was surprised when Sheriam stared at her with raised eyebrows.

"Interesting." She had said. "You will be very strong in the Power. You are almost as strong as..." She trailed off, waving a hand in a dismissal.

Sheriam had dismissed Rissa promptly afterward, assuring her Jule Sedai would show her to her room, and get her settled. Jule had done just that, and now, Rissa sat upon her new bed in her new room, mulling things over in her mind.

Jule Sedai had allowed Rissa to take this day to rest, and gain her strength back after so much traveling, but Rissa was expected to begin her training the next day. Rissa was afraid, but those feelings were not foreign to her. She had felt fear every day since those monsters burned her home to the ground, her parents with it. The images from that day were burned into her mind, and she still mourned for them, vowing to avenge them, somehow.

She let out a shriek, jumping to her feet when she heard a knock on the door. She felt _saidar_ inside of her, as familiar a feeling to her as fear as she forced herself to calmly approach her door and open it. She felt _saidar_ still pulsing inside of her as she made herself look at the two girls standing in front of her.

The taller of the two had long, flowing golden red hair, and a certain confidence about her. Her green eyes fixed themselves on Rissa, as her smile reached into her eyes. She was wearing pure white, just as Rissa was. Rissa guessed she was a Novice here in the White Tower.

It was the second girl that caught Rissa's attention. She had darker hair, nearly the same color as Rissa's, and brown eyes as well. She was about a hand shorter than the first girl, but still was taller than Rissa by about the same. She did not smile at Rissa, but stared at her with a certain curiosity that made Rissa's nervousness return promptly. _Stop it! You must stop thinking everyone you meet might be one of ... them._

"Pardon us for intruding, but we saw you come in earlier this afternoon with Jule Sedai. We wanted to come and welcome you to the White Tower." The taller girl said, as she handed Rissa a single white flower - one Rissa had never seen before. The world seemed so different from where she had been raised - though she realized she was a long way from what she had once called home.

"T-thank you. That's very kind of you." Rissa replied shyly as she brought the flower to her nose for a smell.

"Our pleasure." The tall girl said, looking over at the other girl, who was still studying Rissa. "Forgive me, my name is Elayne Trakand."

"My name is Egwene Al'Vere." The other girl said, finally speaking. Rissa managed a small smile.

"Rissa T'eriavelle." Light, that name still sounded strange on her tongue. She hadn't used it in little over a year. Light, she still couldn't forget what _they_ had called her. _That isn't my name! My name is Rissa T'eriaville!_

"Are you alright Rissa?" Elayne asked as Rissa pulled her head up, realizing she had very nearly forgotten her guests.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I suppose I am just tired. It's...well, it's been a very long and trying week." Rissa breathed out.

"Where did you travel from?" Egwene asked curiously. Rissa swallowed hard, trying not to imagine the nightmare of a place she had fled from.

"I travelled from the west," Rissa swallowed, "N-near Almoth Plain. That's where I grew up."

"Oh Light, that's so far! How long did it take you?" Egwene asked.

"Light send you had a fast horse." Elayne added. Rissa shook her head.

"I didn't have a horse." She replied. "I travelled by foot. I had no choice. I had to...leave rather quickly." Light, she wished she hadn't said that. The less that knew about her past, the better.

"I can't believe you travelled this far, just to reach the White Tower. You must really want to learn how to channel. But...how did you know you _could _channel? I mean, I didn't know until I met Moiraine Sedai, and she told me I had it in me. Who told you you could channel?" Egwene asked. Rissa shuddered as she remembered her time on the farm with her mother and father, before the Seanchan came and took her. At that time, she didn't know what she was doing was called _channeling_, and she didn't know how to control it. What she knew of channeling came from the Seanchan, and she wanted to learn the _true_ way of channeling the One Power.

"I already know how to channel." Rissa replied, wishing she had _never_ learned how to channel. _Light, did I really learn? Or was I just forced to channel?_ "I mean, I know much about it."

"Did you meet Sheriam already?" Elayne asked, as she and Egwene took a seat on the empty bed across from Rissa's. Rissa sat down as well with a nod.

"Yes, she had me do things she called 'novice exercises.' She told me I was strong in the Power. I do not know what that means, but...she seemed surprised. I don't understand. Don't all girls come to the Tower, already knowing much about their abilities?" Rissa asked, and felt uncomfortable when Egwene and Elayne exchanged glances.

"No, most girls don't even know they have the ability to channel unless an Aes Sedai tells them they do. Some girls experience moments were things happen they can't explain, but it seldom goes beyond that." Elayne explained. Rissa lowered her head, feeling ashamed and very different. Though her past had laid out this path for her. She would always be different - she would be nothing like the rest of the girls here, _they_ had destroyed that for her.

"How old are you?" Egwene asked suddenly. Rissa looked up, and thought it an odd question from someone who didn't appear that much older than herself.

"Seventeen." Rissa replied as she let out a small yawn. Light, she was exhausted. It wasn't even dusk yet, and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in her new bed and fall asleep. _The Light send I don't have anymore nightmares. _She thought to herself with a shudder.

Egwene stared at Rissa with big brown eyes for only a second, before she dropped them to the ground, and cleared her throat.

"I have a younger sister who would be that age by now." Egwene said simply and Rissa only nodded, feeling herself calming down. These girls seemed harmless enough. _Light, you must stop thinking everyone in the world is going to hurt you. Not everyone are monsters like they were._ Rissa sighed out with a shiver.

"Are you sure you are alright, Rissa?" Elayne asked once more, noticing the color drain from Rissa's cheeks. Rissa looked up abruptly.

"Yes, Light, I'm just so tired." She replied with a nervous giggle. Elayne and Egwene stood.

"We'll let you sleep, then. Believe me, once you begin novice training, you'll be happy for all the sleep you can get." Elayne added as the two girls headed for the door. Rissa smiled at them.

"It was nice to meet you." Rissa called after them. They said the same and quietly closed the door behind them.

Rissa eased herself into her bed, after changing into her nightgown. She was happy she had a single room to herself - nobody heard her as she buried her face in her hands and sobbed herself to sleep.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

"Visualize, child, _visualize._" Karen Sedai said firmly to one of the Novices as she carefully inspected each of the girls' weaves in turn.

"You are not succumbing to the True Source, child. Let yourself be filled." Karen's voice was floating uncomfortably closer to where Rissa was sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing the wall, ashamed to turn around. A simple Novice exercise she had been able to do since the day she discovered she could channel, and she could not accomplish it. Every other Novice in the room could at least create a tiny flame in the palm of their hand, even for a second, but Rissa could not draw in enough _saidar_ to create a spark. This was her second day in Novice classes. The day earlier, she had completed each of the Novice exercises without any aid or instruction from any of the Aes Sedai instructors. Today was different. Today, she could not channel a spark.

"You are a rosebud, Jesslyn, a _rosebud._" Karen's footsteps grew louder until Rissa could sense her towering over her.

"Light child, have you been paying attention to a word I have spoken, or is the wall more interesting to you than learning how to channel?" Karen's words rang over her as Rissa darted to her feet with a curtsy.

"Yes, Karen Sedai, I have been paying attention." Rissa replied politely as fear and nervousness engulfed her. This had been happening all day. In all of her Novice classes, she could not embrace the Source, no matter how close it seemed, she could not draw it in today.

"Then why isn't there a pretty little flame dancing on your palm, girl? I thought I had made myself perfectly clear that you were to concentrate on withholding the flame with _saidar_ until I came to evaluate you." Karen scolded. Rissa's face felt hot as she stared at the floor, feeling the eyes of all the Novice girls upon her, as well as Karen Sedai's. Rissa swallowed hard as she was unable to meet the Aes Sedai's eyes.

"I am sorry, Aes Sedai, it is just that I-"

"I do not accept excuses, child. If you wish to make it as Aes Sedai, you will do well to heed the instructions of your superiors while you are a Novice and Accepted." Karen interrupted. Rissa swallowed hard as she felt _saidar_ fill her, and anger soon after. _Too little, too late._

"Well, do not just stand there like a fool, show me your flame." Karen demanded as she stared at Rissa's empty palm. Rissa didn't hesitate, already fearing punishment, as she opened her palm and channeled. She heard some girls scream out loud as Rissa's flame grew quickly out of control, raising itself fiercely to the classroom's ceiling. Rissa stared with wide eyes, as she could not draw it back, no matter how hard she tried. She felt another woman channeling in the room, and realized quickly it was Karen Sedai, as the flames disappeared from the room. Rissa breathed out quickly, starring at the charred ceiling, memories flooding through her. Her body shook with fear as she turned to see Elayne and Egwene staring at her, wide-eyed. Rissa swallowed hard as Karen Sedai grabbed a tight hold of Rissa's arm, pulling her toward the door.

"Class is dismissed!" She called behind her as she pushed the girl through the door.

* * *

Rissa nervously smoothed her skirts as she sat on a small wooden bench outside Sheriam Sedai's office. Her heart was thrashing wildly in her chest, as she felt _saidar_ calling out to her. She knew she would be able to embrace the Source if she tried, but she forced herself to ignore the sweetness of _saidar._ She was in enough trouble as it was.

Karen Sedai had been in with Sheriam for what seemed like hours now, as Rissa was told to wait outside the office to face Sheriam. Light it had been only a day since she first met Sheriam Sedai, and she was already going to be given a punishment. _They're going to put me out of the Tower, and I have only been here two days. _She thought to herself as she breathed out slowly. Light, this wasn't the first time she was unable to control herself. She remembered back to Almoth Plain, the first day she discovered she could channel. Only, then she hadn't known what it was all about.

Rissa jumped up quickly when she heard the heavy wood door opening behind her, with Karen Sedai coming out into the hallway, her serene eyes contrasting with the fear in Rissa's. Karen only stared at her, emotionless, and motioned her into Sheriam's office. Rissa offered a curtsy as Karen waited for Rissa to enter the room. Rissa swallowed hard, forcing herself to be brave, as she stepped into the Mistress of Novices' office, with Karen shutting the door behind her.

Sheriam was already staring at the girl when she walked inside, and Rissa immediately offered her curtsy, knowing that forgetting would only cause more trouble. Sheriam said nothing for a moment, only considering Rissa intently, causing Rissa to feel terribly uncomfortable.

"Karen Sedai tells me you were not paying attention today, is this correct?" Sheriam started as she raised an eyebrow. Rissa shook as she exhaled.

"With all due respect, Sheriam Sedai, I _was_ paying attention. I...I was just having difficulties." She replied meekly as she focused on the ground in front of her. Sheriam leaned forward.

"What do you mean child? What kind of difficulties?" She asked. Rissa sighed.

"Difficulties channeling, Aes Sedai. It...it wasn't that I wasn't paying attention to Karen Sedai, because I _was._ I...was facing the wall because I was...ashamed I could not channel." She tried to explain, hoping she would find more luck with Sheriam than she did with Karen Sedai.

"Child, I saw you in here two days ago, and you had no difficulties channeling at all. In fact, you amazed me at how much you already knew about channeling. Why under the Light would you have trouble today?" Sheriam asked patiently. Rissa swallowed.

"I do not know, Sheriam Sedai." She answered truthfully. Sheriam leaned back with a sigh.

"I know you are new to the Tower, girl, but are you aware that an Aes Sedai cannot tell a lie? It is one of the Three Oaths we take when we are raised to the shawl. I hope you will learn early, even _before_ you take those oaths, that lying is unacceptable here. So I do hope, child, that you are telling me the truth." She said firmly. Rissa nodded.

"I understand, Aes Sedai, I am telling you the truth." She replied as she lowered her head. "I do not know why I can only channel some of the time."

"Jule Sedai told me you did not say much about your past, girl." Sheriam said as Rissa felt her stomach jump. She did not like to think about her past, why must everyone bring it up?

"But from what I understand of what she tells me, you already_ knew_ you could channel before Jule Sedai found you, is that correct? In fact, she tells me you came looking for us." Sheriam added. Rissa nodded and Sheriam did as well.

"I see. I believe I know exactly what the problem is, child. You are, what we call, a Wilder."

"A Wilder?" Rissa questioned, as Sheriam raised an eyebrow, "Aes Sedai." Rissa added quickly.

"Yes girl, a Wilder. A Wilder is someone who can channel but did, but learned how to without proper training. I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with your lack of control over when you can or cannot channel," Sheriam stood and strolled over to where Rissa still stared at the floor nervously, "Wilders generally have what we call a 'block.' Something that holds them back from being able to channel at will. It may be an emotion, or a memory, or anything, for that matter. We just have to figure out what your block is. Do you have any ideas?" Sheriam asked. Rissa swallowed hard. This was all new to her. A Wilder? A block? Something was keeping her from being able to channel? She _hated_ that idea. It left her vulnerable.

She shook her head.

"I didn't think so, most girls don't." Sheriam paused, "I will not punish you this time, because I believe you are telling me the truth. You really had no control. However, I think it would be best if we had you train with somebody who understands your situation a little better, for the time being. Do not look at me like that, child, you will still get your training, but with someone who may be able to discover what your block is. I am going to pair you up with one of our Accepted, who herself is a Wilder. She is very strong in the Power; you will learn much from her. Tonight, Nynaeve Al'Meara will meet you in your room, so you be sure you are there. I will call her into my office shortly to explain this to her. Do not sulk, child, this is something we must gain control of, before you blow up the entire Tower. You are strong in the Power, girl, we just need to put a short leash on it." Rissa shivered at the sound of the word 'leash' and felt a wave of dizziness overcome her.

"Are you alright, girl?" Sheriam asked as she stared into Rissa's eyes. Rissa nodded slowly as she breathed out.

"Yes Sheriam Sedai, thank you." Rissa said in almost a whisper. Sheriam did not seem sure, but she nodded.

"Very well then, you can go. Remember, be in your room tonight." She ordered, as Rissa agreed with a curtsy, and left the office. She walked down the hallway, still trembling, and mulling things over in her mind. The idea of not being able to control her abilities frightened her; it had been the story of her life for the past year, she _had_ to gain control of this before her past destroyed her completely.

Rissa turned a corner to find Egwene and Elayne standing there. Rissa nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw them waiting for her.

"What did Sheriam say?" Elayne asked.

"Are you alright?" Egwene asked concernedly. Rissa exhaled slowly.

"I suppose so. I mean, I haven't been punished. Sheriam believes me when I say it was not my fault." She replied. Elayne shook her head, seemingly amazed.

"I have not seen a flame that large before, you know, from channeling I mean. Light, you must be strong in the Power." She said.

"What do you mean when you say it was not your fault?" Egwene wanted to know.

"I couldn't channel, no matter how hard I tried, I just could not even cause a spark. But when Karen Sedai began to scold me, and she asked me to channel the flame, it...well, it got out of control. I did not mean for it to." Rissa shuddered as she remembered the charred ceiling, feeling horrible for frightening all the girls. "Sheriam Sedai told me it is because I'm a Wilder."

"I've heard of Wilders. Untrained women who can already channel." Elayne said. Rissa nodded slowly.

"She says because I am a Wilder, I have a block. That is to say, something is blocking me from channeling at will." Rissa still hated the idea of not being able to control her power.

"Nynaeve is also a Wilder," Egwene said, talking to Elayne, "She was untrained in the power, and she also has a block."

"Nynaeve? Nynaeve Al'Meara?" Rissa asked, recognizing the name immediately.

"Have you met her?" Elayne asked. Rissa shook her head.

"No, not yet, but Sheriam has put me under Nynaeve's training. She seems to think I need to be trained by someone who has a block as well. I think she is just trying to keep me away from the other novices so nobody will get hurt." She replied.

"_Nynaeve's_ going to train you?" Egwene sighed out loud, "I would much rather had Karen Sedai teach me on her grumpiest day."

"Egwene!" Elayne snapped.

"Is there something wrong with Nynaeve?" Rissa asked innocently. Egwene sighed.

"No, it is just...well...Nynaeve has a bit of a temper. In fact, that's her block. She can only channel when she is angry, which is quite a lot of the time." She replied. Rissa sulked. Not only was she unable to control _saidar_ as freely as she would have liked, she was now a Wilder with a block, who was taken out of novice lessons to be trained by an Accepted, who she now discovered, had quite the temper.

Rissa was positive her day could not get any worse.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

That night, Rissa sat alone in her room, tugging at her white skirts, and playing with her long hair that she had tied back with a ribbon, not wanting to be bothered by the pieces of hair falling in front of her face. Tears stung at her eyes as she remembered her horrible day. Seeing all the faces of those girls who looked at her in true horror, like she was a monster or something, because she nearly caught the whole room on fire with the power of _saidar_ had really affected Rissa, especially because Karen Sedai had reacted much the same way.

Then there had been Sheriam Sedai, who she had stood before, trying to explain what had happened to the best of her ability, but even Rissa couldn't fully understand why she could only channel some of the time and not others. Now Sheriam Sedai had told her she was a Wilder, something Rissa had never heard of before. But Rissa realized Sheriam must be right, she just wasn't sure what her so-called block was.

Light, Rissa was exhausted, but because of what had happened today, sleep was denied to her. She could only sit, and wait for this Accepted woman named Nynaeve to come meet with her.

Rissa sighed out with a tremble. Earlier today, when she was with Egwene and Elayne, talking about the meeting with Sheriam Sedai, Egwene had told Rissa about Nynaeve's temper, and anger being her block. Rissa remembered how angry Karen Sedai got when Rissa wasn't channeling. What would an Accepted who had a bad temper who probably didn't even _want_ to be teaching some new Novice be like?

Rissa had no way of knowing, she could do nothing but wait, as Sheriam Sedai had instructed her to do. She wondered to herself if she would ever be allowed back in the Novice classes, or if she would forever be restricted because of her block to the confines of individual teaching.

She felt sick to her stomach when she heard a slight knock on the door. Rissa swallowed hard, wishing Jule Sedai would have been the one to teach her; she had seemed so understanding thus far. The last thing Rissa wanted was to meet more strangers. She was afraid enough as it was.

Rissa crossed the room to the door, smoothing out her skirt as she did, and opened the door slowly, peeking out.

A taller woman, with dark hair pulled back in a long braid stood wearing the same white dress as Rissa, only banded with the seven colors of the different Ajahs, and a Great Serpent ring banding the third finger on her left hand. Rissa lowered herself in a curtsy, not sure what else to do. The woman sighed.

"You must be Rissa." Nynaeve said in a low voice. Rissa nodded, as she opened up her door to let Nynaeve inside her room.

"I'm Nynaeve, but I suppose Sheriam Sedai already told you who I am, and why I'm here." Nynaeve turned to take a good look at the student she would be teaching, and a strange feeling came over her, something strangely familiar, but she pushed it away. Perhaps it was only because at first glance, Nynaeve felt as though she were looking into Egwene's eyes, the same deep dark brown.

"I am sorry if this arrangement is inconvient for you, Nynaeve." Rissa said quietly, feeling embarrassed for taking the time of this Accepted because of her mistakes and her issues with controlling the One Power. Nynaeve sighed, feeling agitated but hated herself for feeling angry. It wasn't the Novices' fault, if she truly was a Wilder, like Sheriam had told her earlier when she assigned Rissa to Nynaeve, then the child had no control.

"I don't want to hear apologies." Nynaeve said, doing her best to keep her voice calm and flat. "What is your block?" Rissa puckered her brow.

"Didn't Sheriam tell you? I do not know. I only found out today that I had a block, or that I'm a Wilder. I have never heard of these women before. All I know is that I do not seem to have control over _saidar_, and I cannot always reach out to it." She said quietly. "Light, I really want to be able to have it there all the time, and control it." The last part, she said a little too passionately, and Nynaeve noticed, secretly wondering why a young girl whom she guessed could be no older than fifteen wanted so badly to be able to learn to control _saidar_ when she was just a fresh Novice.

"You'll learn in time." Nynaeve said, sitting on the bed across from Rissa's. "Now, I want you to do the rosebud exercise, just close your eyes, imagine you're a rosebud, and reach out to _saidar._" Rissa, still feeling nervous about this new stranger, sat down on her own bed and did as she was told. Feeling her own heart hammering against her chest, she envisioned the rosebud and within seconds, she felt herself giving in to the power of _saidar._

"I don't see there being a problem. You've seized _saidar_, I can see it." Nynaeve pointed out, as she recognized the glow around the child. Rissa released the beauty of _saidar_ and sighed.

"But that doesn't _always_ happen, you see. Some days, I can grasp it so easily, and other days it's impossible to even _find_ the True Source. Light, I don't know what's wrong with me, and I do not know why I can't always find it!" Rissa forced the tears down, wanting nothing more than to have the True Source always available for her, and her ready to use it and control it at her convience, when she was ready.

Nynaeve watched her patiently, realizing there was a lot about this girl she needed to learn. There was a past, a history Nynaeve could not yet read, but she was sure it existed. There was too much pain and suffering behind the eyes of this child, far too much for her young age, and Nynaeve could only sigh.

"You really do not have any idea why you cannot channel all of the time? Have you not noticed any differences between the times you can and cannot find _saidar?_" Nynaeve asked, wishing she could just figure out the cause. Light, she was only Accepted. She did not know everything there was to know about being a Wilder, why on earth would Sheriam Sedai assign _Nynaeve_ to help this girl?

Rissa shook her head.

"No, none, Nynaeve. I am sorry. I am sure there are better uses for your time. I am sorry Sheriam Sedai involved you." She said moodily. Nynaeve felt her irritation nagging her.

"Don't apologize!" Nynaeve sighed, trying to control her temper. "Alright, I will meet with you again in two nights time. I want you to try and be conscious of when you can and cannot channel, and try to see what is different. Maybe if we can figure out what your block is, we can work on overcoming it." Though Nynaeve felt that was an impossible feat. She still had not overcome her own block, how under the Light was she supposed to help Rissa overcome hers?

Nynaeve hestitated, but finally stood and turned to leave. Rissa watched her go, wanting to ask so many questions, but the fear of not being able to ever channel at will silenced her. What if Nynaeve could not help her? What if she truly was crippled for the rest of her life? Would she ever be raised to the shawl? How would she ever truly gain her life back if she was not going to be able to fully control the power inside her?

As Nynaeve nodded, and Rissa faked a smile, as the door closed behind the Accepted, Rissa fell against her pillow, and cried.

* * *

"Rissa, Rissa, _Rissa!"_ She heard a hissing whisper about an hour later, and she sat up, her eyes still swollen from the tears she had shed. She stood up, taking the candlestick she had lit earlier, and walked over to the door. She opened it carefully, and saw both Egwene and Elayne, both in their nightgowns, peering up and down the halls for any sign of Accepted or Aes Sedai.

"What are you doing here? If you get caught, you'll be in trouble." Rissa whispered, knowing it was well past curfew. Egwene and Elayne pushed past Rissa into her room, closing the door behind her. Rissa felt her own heart beating, as she imagined someone like Karen Sedai opening the door to find three Novices in one room, past curfew. Rissa knew it wouldn't look good, especially when Rissa was already seen under a bad light by Karen Sedai.

"You really shouldn't be here." Rissa hissed, wiping her eyes against her nightgown sleeve. "If we get caught-"

"We won't stay long, but we didn't want to wait until morning. With all our chores, and classes to attend, we knew we wouldn't get much of a chance to ask you." Elayne pointed out in a low whisper, lowering herself to sit on Rissa's bed beside her. Rissa puckered her brow.

"Ask me about what?" She asked.

"About your meeting with Nynaeve." Egwene replied. "We saw her when we were on our way up for bed. She was just leaving your room. I tried asking her, but she only told me to mind my own business, and she walked away." Rissa shrugged, trying to remember her first impression of Nynaeve. She hadn't noticed anything about a bad temper, although she had only spent a few moments with her; there really hadn't been any opportunities for tempers to arise.

"She was alright, but she was only here for moments. I think this meeting was arranged just so we could meet. I must meet with her again in two nights time." Rissa explained.

"Just make sure you don't ever question why she's doing something. Nynaeve hates it when I tell her if I don't agree with something she's doing. She figures because she's older, she knows better, but truth be told, she doesn't always." Egwene laughed a little, as Elayne and Rissa both shushed her.

"Well, I guess we'd better get back to our beds before we _do _get caught." Elayne said as she stood.

"Yes, I suppose. Elayne and I are still doing chores for a rule we broke a few days ago, so extra punishment wouldn't be so bad for us, but we don't want you to have to face Sheriam again." She paused. "I imagine taking lessons from Nynaeve is enough."

Rissa said goodnight to the two girls, and went to her bed, lying her head down against the cool pillow. Despite what Egwene and Elayne said about Nynaeve, Rissa didn't feel so badly about it; not yet anyhow. As she tried to drift off to sleep, she tried to picture in her mind what private lessons would be like; would she ever discover her true block? As sleep overtook her, the answers never came.


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

Two days after Rissa's first meeting with Nynaeve, she found herself back in the same Novice classroom she had been yanked from two days earlier for letting a small flame grow out of control. _I didn't do it on purpose. I would _never_ do anything like that on purpose._

She had tried to go back to the class the day before, but Karen Sedai had told her not to come back to class until she could learn how to control herself. Luckily Jule Sedai had seen Rissa wandering around the gardens by herself later that afternoon and asked her why she wasn't in class with the rest of the Novices. Jule had informed Sheriam immediately, and Karen was ordered not to exclude Rissa from the exercises, as she had been discovered as a Wilder, and was unable to control the power she had. Karen Sedai had grumbled about it, using a few choice words, but Rissa was now back in class, trying hard to follow the exercises, but once again, failing.

"You are not trying hard enough, Shaley. That is much better, Jisemia. Wonderful Jesslyn, you've got it!" Rissa swallowed when she felt Karen Sedai's shadow looming over her. Her heart began to beat rapidly.

"No flame? Not even a little smoke?" Karen asked, crossing her arms fiercely. Rissa sighed, never looking up.

"I'm trying." She said quietly.

"Are you? I'm starting to wonder if that's really true, child. That's twice now. You are not paying attention!" Karen snapped. Rissa felt her head spinning, as her heart raced faster and faster.

"I am paying attention, Aes Sedai, I _want_ to learn." She said, her voice shaking.

"I don't know that I believe you, girl." Karen Sedai rolled her eyes. "You are wasting my time. I have girls here who have potential, so unless you can show me a flame in your hand, I want you out of this classroom."

Rissa felt her heart in her throat, as she reached out for _saidar._ There it was. Puzzled, Rissa reached out for it, desperate to feel it filling her, and soon it was, reaching into every pore in her body. She envisioned the rosebud, blooming to the sound of her quickened heartbeat, and then the flame appeared.

Rissa's eyes were closed, but she heard the sounds of awe from the girls around her. Rissa opened her eyes to see what she had done, and there, dancing gracefully in the palm of her hand, was a perfect flame. Not just any flame, though, but a perfectly red flame, tinting all shades of color. Blue, orange, yellow, purple. Rissa had never seen anything so beautiful. _I...I did this?_ She thought to herself, feeling herself growing calmer and calmer, impressed by what she had done.

"Alright, alright, that's enough." Karen Sedai said, channeling herself to extinguish Rissa's flame. "Alright girls, that's enough for today. Continue to practice. Envision the rosebud, but _don't-" _Her eyes came to rest on Rissa, "Don't let it get out of control."

* * *

"Rissa, _Rissa_, wait up." Egwene called as she and Elayne ran to catch up to Rissa, who had made her way out to the gardens for a walk later that day. Rissa turned around.

"Are you finished your chores already?" She asked, looking up at the sun in the sky. It must have been nearly dusk.

"We scrubbed quickly. We wanted to catch you before you met Nynaeve again tonight." Elayne said, as the three girls gathered their skirts to sit on the grass.

Rissa felt her stomach jolt.

"That's _tonight?_ Light, I must have forgotten! She told me to keep track of the times I could channel and the times I could not, and I haven't been paying attention at all." She swallowed. "You...you said she has a bad temper?" Rissa could feel herself growing nervous just thinking about it. Light, she was already hated by Karen Sedai, yelled at every opportunity she got, and now there was Nynaeve.

Egwene and Elayne exchanged worried glances.

"Yes, she does." Egwene sighed. "Alright, well there is still a few hours left before you must meet with her. Maybe we can puzzle it out."

"What you did today, Rissa. I can't believe you really _are_ a Wilder. I mean...that was the most powerful thing I have ever seen. I didn't even know you could create weaves like _that._" Elayne said, remembering the colorful flame Rissa had conjured.

"Yeah, Rissa, you should have seen the look on Karen Sedai's face. Even _she_ looked surprised." Egwene added.

"I could feel it too, when you were channeling. You are very strong in the power. Sheriam told you that as well, didn't she? They've said that about Egwene, and myself as well. But why? Why is it that you can only channel some of the time? Like the other day in class? You couldn't channel, and when you did, you lost control. And today, you couldn't channel, but when you did, it was the most beautiful flame I had ever seen." Elayne pointed out.

Rissa sighed. Light, she wanted the answers, she _did._ She hated the training. She hated the childish treatment she was receiving. She hated being scolded for something she couldn't control. _But I _have_ to control it! I will never be able to take control of my own life until I can control this._

Light, teaching her how to conjure little balls of flame in her hand. She was _much_ more capable than that. She had already done things...things she wasn't proud of, things she had been out of control of, but strong, _powerful_ things. She knew the power she held inside of her was strong, like Elayne had said. She just needed to learn control, not rosebud exercises.

The three girls talked for a full hour, trying to pinpoint the instances when Rissa could channel, and when she could not, but they discovered nothing of great use. The problem was, Rissa _hadn't_ been paying attention to when she could and could not. It had never been something she'd had to pay mind to. Nynaeve was going to skin her alive, the way Elayne made it sound.

"I don't think it will be that bad. I mean, Nynaeve _does_ have a temper, but she has to have some level of sympathy. She _is_ a Wilder too, after all." Egwene said.

"I hope so." Rissa sighed, feeling rather incompetent. _Everyone else can channel whenever they want. Light, things would be much easier if I could call upon it when I needed it._

* * *

Later that night, Nynaeve had met Rissa up in her Novice chambers as she had two nights ago, but she insisted on taking their lessons out to the courtyard.

"No sense in cooping ourselves up in the Tower. Light, you're already so pale, you need to breathe in some fresh air." Nynaeve said shortly as she led the way out of the Tower. Rissa followed, hoping Nynaeve would not ask her that nagging question. _What is your block?_ Rissa swallowed hard.

Nynaeve took her to a fountain just on the west side of the Tower, away from the distractions of the other Novices, of the Aes Sedai, of the training Younglings with their Warder teachers.

"A young girl like yourself should not be busying herself with watching boys. Learning to control the Power should be your top priority right now." Nynaeve said, as she took a seat on the edge of the fountain. Rissa joined her with a nod. She wasn't going to argue with Nynaeve on that. Learning to control _saidar was_ her main priority right now. Nothing else mattered. Nynaeve, of _all_ people should understand that.

"Alright," Nynaeve sighed, staring at Rissa who never met her eyes, "Have you been paying attention to when you could channel over the last two days like I asked you to? What did you discover?"

Rissa swallowed and felt her heart beating, as she knew better than to lie. First of, she knew she would be caught in the lie. She also remembered what Sheriam had told her about Aes Sedai, and their obligation to always tell the truth. _Even though I'm not Aes Sedai yet, I will be one day. And if I want that to happen, then I have to figure out what my block is, the honest way._

Rissa sighed.

"I...I didn't discover anything." She paused. "I don't know what my block is."

Nynaeve grumbled something under her breath, before she spoke again.

"Have you even been _trying_ to figure it out girl?" She asked, a little harshly. Rissa looked away.

"All I know is two days ago, in class, I wasn't able to channel until Karen Sedai came and scolded me. Then I lost control, and, well, you know all about that. The same thing happened today, but this time when I could channel, I could control it. Elayne said it was very powerful." She explained.

"I don't know about powerful, I haven't even _seen_ you channel yet, but is that all you've figured out? Because that is not very helpful." Nynaeve replied. Rissa sighed.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Stop apologizing! Light child!" Nynaeve breathed out slowly. "Why don't you tell me more about yourself. Sheriam Sedai told me you were able to channel before you came here. That's what makes you a Wilder, obviously. Where did you come from?"

"Almoth Plain." Rissa answered a little too quickly, and Nynaeve knew there was more to the story than that, _much_ more.

"Born in Almoth Plain?" Nynaeve pried. Rissa shook her head.

"No, it's...it's a little complicated. You see, I was lost as a child. A baby, more or less. A couple saved me from a mob, and they raised me in Almoth Plain. It never mattered to me. As far as I was concerned, they were my real mother and father. That is where I grew up." She explained.

"This couple then, the one who saved you as a child-"

"My parents."

"Alright, your parents. Do they know you can channel? Did they send you to the White Tower?" Nynaeve asked.

Rissa looked away, and Nynaeve thought for sure she saw a small tear sparkling in the corner of the girl's eye.

"No they...they died, two years ago." She said quietly. Nynaeve felt sympathy for the young girl, but her story still wasn't making sense. If her parents had died two years ago, and she had just come to the Tower, where had she been in between.

"I am sorry about your mother and father, Rissa." Nynaeve paused. "How did you come to the Tower? How did you learn about it? What have you been doing over the past two years?"

Rissa's heart began to race as she remembered the night the Seanchan had invaded her small farm, killed her mother and father, snatched her up and rode her away, burning her farm down to nothing. She began to remember other things, _horrible_ things. _The collar._ Rissa's body was shaking.

"Rissa, what are you doing?" Nynaeve asked, as she saw the familiar light of _saidar_ surrounding the girl. Nynaeve paused as she stared. Whatever was happening felt...strong. Sheriam was right, this girl _would_ be very strong in the Power. The strange thing was, it was as though Rissa didn't even know she had embraced it. She was simply staring off into the distance, deep in thought.

"Rissa, release the Source. I never said you could embrace it." Nynaeve said a little louder. Rissa barely heard her though. She began to see faces of her past, haunting images of the last two years. She could hear her breathing quicken, her sweat pores opening as she faintly heard Nynaeve's voice telling her to stop.

It happened so quickly.

Behind them, a geyser of water shot up from the bottom of the fountain! Nynaeve jumped to her feet, but by then it was too late. Buckets of water came down on the two of them, soaking them to the bone.

Rissa snapped out of it.

She turned and saw Nynaeve's face. She knew at that moment that Egwene and Elayne had been right. Nynaeve had a horrid temper, and Rissa was about to feel its sting.

"I...I'm sorry, Nynaeve. I don't know what happened. I...I didn't mean-" Before she knew it, Nynaeve had lunged for Rissa, grabbed a tight hold of her arm, and began dragging her back toward the Tower.

Rissa apologized the whole way, tears stinging her eyes. She hadn't done it on purpose, she hadn't done _any_ of it on purpose. She was tired of being punished for what she couldn't control.

"I told you to stop, didn't I?" I'm sure I told you to release the True Source!

"Light, child, I could _see_ you weren't in control of yourself! We're lucky we just got a little wet! With the amount of power you were holding, you could have _drowned_ us!" Nynaeve yelled as she dragged the girl up the winding staircases.

If Rissa hadn't been nervous about the whipping she thought she was going to receive, she would have been proud of herself. Three times now, someone had told her she was strong in the Power. Rissa knew she could be capable of many things, if _only_ she could control herself.

"Order me to teach a Wilder how to control herself, and she doesn't even listen to me!" Nynaeve was grumbling to herself now, as they neared Rissa's quarters.

Nynaeve pushed her inside, as she stood at the doorway.

"Get changed. We are not finished here! But I will not continue to teach you when we are both soaked to the bone." She said grumpily, as she waited by the doorway. Rissa nodded slowly, and began to undress. Nynaeve nodded, and turned to leave to change her own clothes, but something had caught her eye.

Nynaeve's mouth hung open, for she could not believe what she was seeing. As Rissa lowered her dress, in nothing but her shift, Nynaeve could make out clearly the strangely shaped birthmark on Rissa's left shoulder blade. It was in the shape of a star. _We will always know Ketia because of her spark. _The familiar words of Marin Al'Vere came back quickly when she saw the familiar birthmark. It was the exact same birthmark Nynaeve had been shown when Ketia Al'Vere was just a baby.

"Rissa." Nynaeve said suddenly, as Rissa crawled into a clean white dress.

"I'm sorry, Nynaeve, I really am. It was-"

"Do you know where you were lost? You said you were lost as a child. Where did this couple find you? Was it near Almoth Plain?" Nynaeve asked, ignoring the girl's apologies.

"No, they told me they were travelling away from their homeland. They are from Tear, but they decided to come to Almoth Plain to start a new life for themselves. They passed through many towns and villages, but they found me just outside of a place called...I think it was the Two Rivers." Rissa replied.

Nynaeve felt her stomach jump into her throat. Rissa stared at her uncertainly, as Nynaeve managed a nod.

"Meet me out by the gardens in a few moments. I am just going to change out of these wretchedly wet clothes." Nynaeve tried to sound angered by what Rissa had done, but as she turned to go to her quarters, her mind was swarming with activity.

It couldn't be true. Ketia Al'Vere had been lost, just outside of the Two Rivers. Everyone believed a child that small could never survive in a mob that size. Everyone believed Ketia to be dead.

But she wasn't dead. Someone had saved her from that mob, given her a new name and raised her in the small village of Almoth Plain.

Nynaeve knew, from the moment she saw that unique birth mark on Rissa's left shoulder blade, that she was looking right at the lost daughter of Marin Al'Vere.

And Egwene's little sister.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

_She was running down an unfamiliar street, but it was the people she recognized more than anything else. There was no mistaking who they were. Higher classes of individuals with parts of their heads shaved, the heavily embroidered robes_, _and the long, dark fingernails made it easy for Rissa to realize she was right_ _in the middle of a Seanchan city. _

_Her first instinct was to run, as fear overwhelmed her. They would catch her, just like they did 2 years ago, and then what? Would they do the same thing they made her do for the last 2 years before she managed to flee from there?_

_She shivered at the thought._

_She wanted to run, but it was like nobody saw her. She turned around in a circle until she saw something that made her heart grow weak, and her stomach turn. She felt as though she were going to sick up as memories flooded her._

_Women wearing all too familiar blue dresses with red panels and silver lightning bolts on the breast were walking down the street, with a bracelet on their wrists. It was the bracelet that caught Rissa's attention more than anything else. _

_It wasn't a bracelet, but a leash. It was attached to collar_s _around other girls' necks, but these girls were not like the other women. They were wearing plain gray dresses, and they kept their eyes on the ground. _

_Rissa's fear kept her rooted to the ground. She couldn't speak, she couldn't breathe, as she watched the group of women pass by. It wasn't until Rissa saw a familiar face in the crowd of gray-clad women that she found her voice again._

"_Eg...Egwene?" She yelled out. Egwene Al'Vere looked up, the collar tight around her neck. She looked scared as she called out to Rissa._

"_Help me, please Rissa, help me!" The sul'dam stared at Egwene suddenly, and Egwene coiled up in a scream, falling to the ground. Rissa cried as she watched what was happening. The scene was too familiar, and she could do nothing to stop it._

"_Ketia!" Egwene screamed. "Help me!"_

* * *

Rissa woke with a start that morning as she struggled to find her breath. Her head was wet with sweat and her whole body was trembling.

She swallowed hard and stood up, pouring a jug of water into a basin, drenching her face with water to cool her off. She breathed out, remembering she was supposed to meet with Nynaeve early this morning before she had to begin her classes, so she dressed quickly, doing everything she could to forget about the dream. That was all it was, a dream. Nothing to be scared of.

_But who under the Light is Ketia?_

* * *

Nynaeve paced back and forth by herself as she waited in the Tower's gardens for Rissa to show up for their lessons. It had been two days since Rissa's incident with the fountain, and since Nynaeve discovered the truth about the girl. She had been mulling it over in her mind now ever since. She hadn't told Egwene, why, she couldn't really say. She just felt as though it was not the time. There were many demons in Rissa's past that had nothing to do with the Two Rivers, _or_ Almoth Plain, she believed. No, there was something more, something deeper, something terrifying. That, she had seen in the young girls' eyes.

Nynaeve thought back to her first meeting with Rissa, and remembered feeling something familiar about the girl. _Like looking into Egwene's eyes._ But now that Nynaeve thought about it some more, there were _some_ physical similarities between the two girls. When they were small, before Ketia was taken, they both looked so much like their mother, the resemblance was uncanny. In fact, Ketia had looked just like Egwene had when she was a year old.

Time has a way of changing physical appearances.

Still, Nynaeve saw the resemblance mostly in their eyes. Round-shaped, and dark brown, just like their mother. Both were slim, and short for their ages, with dark hair, but Egwene's was much longer. Nynaeve chalked that up to culture. Two River's girls always grew their hair out until they were told by the Women's Circle they were old enough to put their hair in a braid. Rissa's hair was hardly past her shoulders, too short to tie back a braid.

It didn't matter how much they did or didn't look alike, there was no doubt that Rissa was Egwene's little sister. _How can I tell her that? How can I tell Egwene that? _She wasn't sure, but one thing was for certain, they were both strong in the Power. Did that mean that _saidar_ was something that could be inherited?

"I'm sorry I'm a little late, Nynaeve." Rissa said quietly as she offered a curtsy. Nynaeve snapped out of her thoughts as she turned to face the young girl. Nynaeve had been too ensnared by her thoughts to even realize the girl was running late. She waved it off.

"Nevermind that, let's sit." Nynaeve noticed she sounded a little distracted, she hoped Rissa wouldn't notice.

As Rissa sat across from Nynaeve, Nynaeve immediately noticed the girl nervously smoothing out her skirts as she sat. _Egwene used to do that too, when she was my apprentice._ She remembered. She shook her head. _Enough, woman, concentrate! Light, you're becoming mule-headed obsessing about this._

"It's been two days since I last met with you. How have your novice classes been going?" Nynaeve asked. Rissa sighed, picking at the grass unconsciously.

"Not very well. I...I haven't been channeling at all." She replied. Nynaeve raised an exasperated eyebrow.

"Not at all?" She asked, raising her voice a little. She immediately noticed Rissa's shoulders tense up.

"N-no. It's not on purpose, I've been _trying,_ really I have, but I just can't find it. I can't find _saidar._ Light, I just want to be able to grab the bloody Source whenever I want to!" Rissa yelled out suddenly.

"There's no need to use language like that, girl, not around me! Light, you sound like a boy in a barn." Nynaeve sighed. "In any case, no matter. You're a Wilder, it's not your fault you can't channel whenever you want to." Rissa was silent for a moment before she quietly spoke up.

"Is...is it true you can only channel when you're angry?" She asked. Nynaeve immediately felt her face getting hot, as she stared at Rissa with wide eyes.

"Who told you that? No wait, I'm sure I know. Egwene and Elayne told you that, didn't they?" Nynaeve asked. Leave it to those nosy little brats to fill Rissa's head with unnecessary information.

Rissa slowly nodded.

"Please don't be mad at them, I think they were only trying to help me. You know, after Sheriam told me I would be meeting with you. They were just telling me about you." She explained.

"Don't give me excuses for them, Rissa." Nynaeve sighed. "Alright, yes, I can only channel when I am angry. That's my block. That's what keeps me from channeling whenever I please." Nynaeve was surprised at how calm she felt. Perhaps it was simply because she took pity on the young girl who had dark secrets in her past, _painful _secrets, and she didn't know what her block was.

Rissa sighed, hugging her knees close to her chest.

"You are very lucky, Nynaeve." She said quietly. Nynaeve scoffed.

"I would hardly go that far."

"Yes, but at least you know what your block is. At least under the worst of circumstances, if you had to protect yourself, you could force yourself to become angry so you could use the Power if you were in danger. If that ever happened to me, I would be powerless." Rissa never did look at Nynaeve, but Nynaeve wanted nothing more than to pry further. Why would Rissa's first thought to be protecting herself from danger. She was in the White Tower, she was safe here. _What happened to her to make her feel like she is unsafe?_

"Alright, you may go. Try to figure out what's different about your circumstances when you are channeling and when you are not. Maybe then we will be able to figure out what your block is." Nynaeve sighed. "Off you go."

She watched as Rissa walked away slowly, smoothing her skirts down as she walked.

Just like Egwene.

* * *

That night, right before curfew, Rissa sulked as she walked through the corridors of the White Tower, trying so hard to reach out to _saidar, _but not finding the True Source, not even _feeling_ it. She felt like driving her fist into the wall, but she knew that would accomplish nothing, as well as earn her punishment of some kind for being unable to control her emotions.

Rissa sighed, trying once again to envision herself as a rosebud, trying so hard to grab any small piece of _saidar_, anything at all, but having no luck. Her Novice classes hadn't helped either. She hadn't been able to channel a single spark, not for anyone.

_Light, how long is it going to take for me to get this right?_

She turned a corner, and very nearly ran right into Karen Sedai, who was walking up and down the halls. Rissa swallowed nervously as she quickly curtseyed.

"I'm sorry, Aes Sedai, I wasn't watching where I was going." She offered apologetically. Karen Sedai stuck out her chin, and raised an eyebrow.

"Among one of your many faults, child." She said with a cold voice. Rissa could not leave, as much as she wanted to get away from the Aes Sedai who had never been overly fond of Rissa, but out of respect, Rissa was not allowed to walk away unless instructed by the Aes Sedai.

"What a waste of Tower space. I have always been against having Wilders walk these halls, _claiming_ to have the same access to _saidar_ as we do. But at least they can be trained. But _you!_ Girl, you are absolutely hopeless. You have been at the Tower for more than a week now, and you still haven't figured out your block. If they are smart, they will exile you from the Tower. Why keep training someone who cannot be trained?" Karen Sedai scoffed. "In my opinion, you are nothing more than a lost little girl, who should never have stepped foot in such a fine establishment." With that, Karen Sedai walked away, mumbling to herself about Wilders.

Rissa stood rooted to the spot, tears clouding her vision as she took in every word that Karen Sedai had said. She swallowed, scrubbing the tears away on her dress.

Rissa fled from the hallway, running up the twisted staircase that led to the Novice quarters. Once she was alone in her room, she ripped her white Novice dress off, crying as she struggled to escape from it. Pulling her wardrobe open, she found the brown dress she had come to the Tower in. Still ripped in places, and very worn, she pulled it on, fastening it quickly behind her. She grabbed her cloak, and placed it on gently.

_Karen Sedai is right, it's hopeless, _I'm_ hopeless! There is nothing for me here. The Aes Sedai cannot teach me. I will just have to learn myself._ She shuddered, knowing the only time she had ever learned anything of the Power was when she was with the Seanchan, and, well, she didn't even want to think about that.

Keeping her hood down, she ran back down through the Novice quarters, down the stairs, and right out the front doors of the Tower. She didn't stop there, Rissa kept running until she had cleared the courtyard, and right out the front gates of the White Tower.

She turned back to stare up at what she thought would be her home, but she didn't belong there. Not anymore, not with the limited power she held.

Rissa felt tears running down her face, as she thought of the new friends she had made. She would miss Egwene and Elayne greatly. Sheriam had been wrong about her, so had Elayne. They had both said she was strong in the Power, stronger than many. _They were wrong about me._ With bitterness and fear in her heart, she turned from the Tower, and ran away.


	13. Chapter Twelve

Rissa recognized the paths she took town from the Tower, and into the town of Tar Valon, but everything seemed so different at night. When Jule Sedai had taken her to the Tower the first time, it had been early in the morning, with the sun illuminating the roads and the ways. Now, Rissa was unsure of where she was going. But still, she ran. She knew she would have to put a significant amount of distance between her and the Tower through the night, because as soon as the Sisters realized she was missing, they would be coming to find her. She had heard about Tower runaways, from what Egwene and Elayne had told her about some of the Novices who had attempted it. Rissa didn't know much, but from what she did know, the _last_ thing she wanted was to be caught.

She didn't know where she would go. She thought about trying to go back home, back to Almoth Plain, to the farm where her parents had raised her. But then, that seemed to be a dangerous idea. If the Seanchan ever went back there..._I can't let them find me. Not again._

The only other place she thought of was the Two Rivers. Her parents had found her there, when she was only a child of one. She had spent her first twelve months in that village, perhaps she could go there.

Rissa didn't know, nor did she care. She just ran, and continued to run until she found herself in front of a very familiar place.

The Singing Sister.

It seemed like ages ago now, when she first entered the old tavern, drenched in

rain, sweat and dirt, having traveled for weeks with hardly any food or water, not to mention no horse. Light, that was only a week ago. Still, Rissa remembered it as though it were yesterday. The kindness of the young innkeeper, she had been grateful for. He had given her a hot drink and a place to stay.

Rissa looked back in the direction of the Tower. Would it be harmful to stop for a few moments to rest her feet?

She entered the Singing Sister, and scanned the tavern. She didn't see Jeyim

Beshoal anywhere, but she did see some older men staring at her from a table in the corner of the room. Rissa tried to ignore them as she walked a little further inside. She looked behind the counter, and saw nobody, but a couple of serving maids pocketing some coins in their purses. Rissa pretended not to notice as she walked in a bit further, searching the tavern for Jeyim Beshoal. She very nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a rough hand on her shoulder. She turned quickly, nearly shrieking and saw one of those older men standing in front of her.

"What's a pretty girl like yourself doing so far away from home eh?" He slurred. Rissa could smell the drink on his breath as she backed away a little bit.

"Nothing, good sir, I'm just looking for somebody." She said as calmly as she could, still looking around for Jeyim. She didn't like the way this man was still walking toward her.

"Well if you're looking for a good time, my friends and I can help you there." The man said as his eyes traveled up and down Rissa's body. Rissa immediately felt frightened, as she tried to clear her throat.

"I just need to find...I really should be going." She ditched the plan to look for Jeyim. He wasn't here, and these men were bad news, she just knew it. She had to get out of here.

As she quickly turned to leave, the man grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her back roughly.

"No, no, dear one, don't leave in such a hurry." He grinned, half of his teeth were missing. "Don't worry, this won't take long." He began to pull her toward his friends, who all stood up with hungry looks in their eyes. Rissa couldn't find her voice to scream, but before she knew it, she felt herself embracing _saidar_. She hadn't done it on purpose, but it was there, and as soon as she looked at the man's calloused hand on her arm, he pulled it away with a shriek. Rissa watched as a burn was forming on the man's hand. Rissa swallowed. What had she done?

"Oy, stay away from her, mate, she's one of dem witches! She'll fry you to a pile of flaming bloody ashes." One of the other men said as they all ran from the tavern, never looking back once. Rissa was breathing heavily as she felt herself letting go of _saidar._ Once again, she wasn't in control, but thank the Light she had been able to use it to protect herself, whether she realized it or not.

"Rissa, is that you?" She heard a voice say from behind her. She felt her heart calming immediately as she turned and found herself face to face with Jeyim, who stared at her uncertainly. Rissa offered a small smile.

"Jeyim." She paused, offering a small curtsey. "It is good to see you again."

"And you as well, miss." He looked over to the empty table. "Is everything alright? One of my serving maids, Rua told me there was a commotion over here. If one of them tried anything-" He stared toward the door.

"It's alright Jeyim, they're gone now." Rissa said calmly as Jeyim nodded.

He pulled out a chair for Rissa before he sat down across from her at a table in the corner of the room. The tavern was cleared out, for the most part, and those who were still there were out of earshot. Jeyim sighed.

"So, Jules took you to the Tower, eh?" He asked. Rissa sighed.

"It's Jule _Sedai_, Jeyim." She shook her head, amazed she was still thinking about respecting the higher authorities, "Yes she did. I was there for a week."

"That means you were a Novice, right?" Jeyim asked. Rissa wondered how Jeyim knew so much about the White Tower, but finally nodded.

"So, if you're a Novice, what are you doing here? I know the Aes Sedai keep a tight reign on the Novices, _especially_ at this late hour." He paused. "You're...you're not just out for an evening stroll, I take it."

Rissa shook her head.

"No, I've left the Tower. It is not what I thought it would be. It's not where I belong right now. I thought it was, but I was wrong. Very wrong." She explained. Jeyim looked at her seriously before he continued.

"What made you leave? As I recall, a week ago, you seemed pretty keen on reaching the White Tower immediately. And now you are running from it. What's changed?" He asked.

Rissa looked down and sighed.

"It's difficult to explain." But was it? Jeyim seemed to know more about Aes Sedai than most. Maybe he would understand. "I am what they call a Wilder."

"A Wilder. Refresh my memory, but does that mean you knew how to...channel before you arrived at the Tower?" Jeyim asked, quieting his voice a little.

"Yes." That was all she would say on that matter. "But because of this, there is something holding me back. A block, it's called. Something that is preventing me from channeling whenever I want to. I haven't been able to figure it all out yet, and...well, I was told that it was hopeless to try and learn, because I wouldn't be able to. They are right, Jeyim. What use is it to pretend like I can channel when I can't, not to the same degree the others are? It is better if I leave, teach myself at my own pace. It's best not to slow anyone else down."

Jeyim leaned in close, and looked over at the door a few times.

"Rissa, listen to me. I know you are new to Tar Valon, and that you traveled a long way to get here, so you do not know much about these things. Girls try to run away from the Tower fairly often. They do not like the training, or the chores, or the punishments. They try to run away, but Rissa, one thing you should know. Tower runaways are _always_ caught. I have yet to see a Novice girl escape from Tar Valon undetected." He paused and breathed out slowly. "I think you are in way over your head, Rissa."

Rissa stared at her friend and swallowed hard. How foolish of her to stop here. She should have kept running. If the Aes Sedai already noticed she was gone, they might already be on their way. The thought sickened her. What would they do to her if she _was_ caught?

She stood quickly, fastening her cloak tightly around her.

"Then I should get going." She smiled at Jeyim, who stared at her up with concerned eyes. "I do not want to be caught, and I do not want to go back. Thank you, Jeyim, for everything." Jeyim stood then, and gently took one of Rissa's hands in his own before he gently kissed it.

"I hope we will meet again someday, Rissa." He lowered her hand gently, and Rissa felt her cheeks growing hot.

She turned toward the door but before she could take a single step, she felt her heart lurch into her throat. Standing at the inn's door, dressed in yellow and red shawls, were Jule Sedai and another Aes Sedai Rissa knew as a Red named Amea Sedai. Rissa felt fear flowing through every vein, as their eyes fell on her. That was it. Rissa had been caught.

Rissa didn't move as Jule and Amea approached her quietly, unreadable expressions on their face. Rissa peered over at Jeyim, who held his head in his hands. Amea stared at Jeyim before she glared back at Rissa.

"Has this man been keeping you against your will?" She asked. Rissa's eyes widened as she stared at Jeyim in surprise.

"No, he has not!" She said, a little too heated. Amea raised an eyebrow.

"Then I can only assume you left the Tower of your own accord!" She said sternly. Rissa's heart was hammering against her chest, as she looked over at Jule Sedai, whom she had always seen as a compassionate woman, but right now, her expression was difficult to interpret.

"Yes." Rissa said timidly. She knew this was it for her. She tried not to think about what kinds of punishments she would receive for this.

Without another word, Amea grabbed a tight hold of Rissa's arm and pulled her forward.

"Let's go, child!" She said roughly, as Jule Sedai followed close behind. "We are going. Now! You will regret the very day you decided to run away from the White Tower!"


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Rissa couldn't control the tears leaking from her eyes when she left Sheriam's office only an hour later. Her body was convulsing with sobs as she made her way up to the Accepted's quarters. It was worse than anything she had even imagined.

Jule Sedai and Amea Sedai showed no compassion whatsoever as they dragged her from the Singing Sister like a lamb led to the slaughter. Pushing her roughly through the corridors of the White Tower, they finally left Rissa in the hands of the Mistress of Novices, who spent nearly an entire hour beating Rissa, using the Source as her means of punishment.

Choking back more sobs, Rissa walked as briskly as she could toward Nynaeve's bedroom. Sheriam had sent her to wake Nynaeve, and ordered Rissa not to leave Nynaeve's quarters until Rissa's block was discovered.

Rissa wiped her tears on her white dress. At least Sheriam Sedai had given her the freedom to change back into her white Novice dress before she was sent to Nynaeve.

Rissa knew of Nynaeve's hot temper, and she was not looking forward to having to wake her in the middle of the night, but Sheriam had made it plainly clear that if Rissa made any detours of any kind, they would know about it, and Rissa would be severely punished. She didn't think there could be any worse punishment than what she had just endured, but she weighed her options, and decided it would be best if she just obeyed. It was bad enough she had to visit Sheriam Sedai everyday for the next two weeks for the rest of her punishment, on top of scrubbing pots in the kitchen chambers. But facing Nynaeve? Right now, Rissa was beginning to wonder if that was the worst part of the punishment.

Rissa did everything she could to compose herself as she found herself in front of Nynaeve's bedroom chambers. Rissa breathed out, feeling her chest constrict. She could feel herself embracing _saidar. _She tried to release it, but she couldn't let it go. It couldn't have been worse timing.

Rissa timidly knocked on the door, and clasped her hands tightly behind her back. Egwene and Elayne had warned her about Nynaeve's temper from their first meeting, and Rissa had seen Nynaeve impatient and intensely frustrated, but she doubted that was what Egwene and Elayne had meant about the temper. Rissa swallowed as she heard footsteps behind the closed door, and the angry muttering. Rissa tried to control her breathing as the door flung open and Nynaeve stood standing in her nightgown, hair brushed out of the braid, and she stared at Rissa, expecting an explanation. Rissa knew just by looking at her that this was not going to be pleasant.

"Girl, you had _better_ have a good explanation for waking me up! Do you have any idea what time it is?" Nynaeve asked as quietly as she could, but Rissa still felt as though she were yelling. Rissa cleared her throat, fighting back the shameful tears.

"I'm sorry, Nynaeve, but I was sent." Rissa explained. Nynaeve stepped out of her room a little, hovering over Rissa, who could not meet Nynaeve's eyes.

"By whom?" Nynaeve asked.

"Sheriam Sedai." Rissa replied.

"And why under the Light would Sheriam Sedai send you to my quarters at this late hour?" Nynaeve asked impatiently. Rissa breathed out slowly, trying to steady her breathing.

"I...I ran away from the Tower tonight. Sheriam...she already...punished me, but she ordered me to wake you, and said I was not to leave your quarters until I knew what my block was." She said, trying to steady her voice with every word. It was useless.

Nynaeve stared at her. Rissa couldn't tell, but Nynaeve didn't look...angry. She just looked annoyed. Maybe Rissa would be lucky. Maybe there wouldn't be any bursts of anger. Rissa didn't know, but she nearly jumped out of her skin when Nynaeve grabbed the crook of Rissa's elbow and pulled her inside of her room. Closing the door behind her, Nynaeve finally let go of Rissa and ran over to the corner of the room where she lit the lantern using _saidar._ That wasn't good news for Rissa. Nynaeve could only channel when she was angry.

_Oh Light._

"Sit down." Nynaeve motioned to the bed. Swallowing hard, Rissa walked over to the bed and sat down, gently. Trembling, Rissa watched Nynaeve cautiously. Silence ensued for a long while before Nynaeve finally rounded on the girl and stared at her.

"Why under the Light would you even _consider_ running away? Haven't you ever heard the stories about Tower runaways? They're _always_ caught!" She hissed. Rissa swallowed.

"You...often don't hear stories of Aes Sedai from where I'm from." She said quietly.

"Foolish, absolutely foolish! You take these women too lightly, child! They are not women to be trifled with! You should have thought better before running away!" Nynaeve snapped.

"You don't understand." Rissa said, regretting it immediately. Nynaeve stared at her, and then raised an eyebrow.

"That's right, I do not! How under the Light do you _expect _me to? How under the Light do _they_ expect me to? Light, they give me this task of digging in deep enough to know your block, but you tell me nothing that is useful! So many factors can play a role, and yet you will not tell me anything about your past, or why you chose to seek the Tower! I am not the Creator, I cannot read minds!" Nynaeve yelled out, pacing back and forth in a small circle. Rissa sighed heavily.

"I just want to be able to control it. Nothing more." She whispered. Nynaeve jumped and dropped to her knees, staring up at Rissa with serious eyes.

"That is all you say to me! 'I need control.' Yes, that is very important, but _why?_ Why is it so important to you that you need control? Why are you so impatient that you must learn it now? Every single Novice in this Tower has to be patient, and learn at a slow pace. What makes you think you need it faster?" She asked. Rissa looked up, surprised.

"I never said that..."

"You never needed to, it's quite obvious. So why, Rissa? Why do you seek to control it so much?"

"It's nothing, I-"

"It's everything! It could be the key!"

"It's not, I-"

"_Rissa_, for the love of the _Light!-"_

"I need to control it so I can protect myself from _them!"_ Rissa shouted, feeling herself erupt with anger and fear. She quickly felt _saidar_ filling every part of her body and feeling herself burning up inside. Nynaeve quickly took notice of the lack of control, and quickly wove a Shield on Rissa, not tying it off, but keeping a hold on Rissa. Rissa appeared shocked, but Nynaeve stared at her seriously. A breakthrough, at last. Nynaeve would not let go of the Shield until Rissa told her everything.

"Protect yourself from whom?" Nynaeve asked, in the calmest voice she could muster. As frustrated and irritated as she may have felt, she knew that calmness was what Rissa needed right now. If they were to ever figure out Rissa's block, Nynaeve needed the whole story, and Rissa was a hard shell to break through.

Rissa breathed out.

"N-nobody, it's just-"

"Rissa, I'm not releasing _saidar _on you until you tell me _everything!_ If you want to know how to control the True Source, then you will need to learn what your block is. If you want to know what your block is, then you may have to relive some painful memories, but it is crucial that you tell me _everything."_ Nynaeve said seriously, staring hard at Rissa.

Rissa fought back tears, but it was too difficult. Memories had already flooded over her, and Rissa could feel herself shaking in fear. Nynaeve could feel the girl fighting hard against the restraints of the Shield. Light, this girl _would_ be strong in the Power, if she could control it.

"I...I can't." Rissa coughed, tears already falling down her face. Nynaeve moved in closer.

"Try." She said simply.

Rissa closed her eyes, and before she could stop, she remembered back to the day she had been taken from Almoth Plain...


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen**

_Tiryn_ _was his name. Rissa remembered. He was the man who was riding the horse she had been forced on. He was Seanchan. That was all she knew. Why they wanted her, she didn't know. It was the least of her concerns, as tears fell from her eyes the whole journey. Her parents. Her mother and father, dead, and it was her fault. For what, she didn't know, but she knew the Seanchan had come for her. Her parents were dead because of her. _

_The man named Jacar rode beside them, and occasionally slapped_ _Rissa hard across the face for her "noise." Rissa tried to cry quietly, but she was so confused. Her parents were dead, and she was bound on the back of a horse, captured for the Light knew what. Fear overwhelmed her, but grief was stronger. She didn't care what happened to her now._ _Her parents were gone. The man and the woman who had sacrificed everything to raise her had died because of her. Rissa would never be able to forgive herself for that._

_Rissa couldn't calculate how long it took for them to reach their destination. She had no sense of time, not when she was thinking of her mother and father. Not when her mind was elsewhere, but she was aware of the horses stopping at the gates of what looked like a city._ _Rissa had never seen a city before, and under other circumstances, would have been eager to see it, but not today. She quickly became aware of the tight ropes cutting into her skin. She had been struggling with them far too hard. She could see her wrists were raw from the rough ropes. _

"_Open the gate Mannek." The man who had pulled Rissa out of the stable back in Almoth Plain yelled up at the man in the tower gate. Mannek peered out and eyed him suspisciously._

"_What have you got there, Sudroc?" Mannek asked, staring at Rissa. Rissa looked away._

"_We found another _marath'damane_, not Aes Sedai. Shreya will be pleased. That _s'uldam _has been seeking out another _damane_ ever since her last one burnt herself out. I cannot understand why Shreya insists on her _damane _being what the Aes Sedai call Wilders. They are hardly as strong in Power as the Aes Sedai." Sudroc explained. Mannek shrugged casually and opened the city gates. Rissa's mind was racing. So this was about her ability to channel. She had been right all along._ _She _was_ like the Aes Sedai. But why did the Seanchan want her? Who under the Light was Shreya?_

_They didn't travel far through the city, and Rissa forced herself to keep her head down. She didn't want to feel even the least bit eager to see the city. She doubted she could feel anything, but she refused to look._

_The horses finally stopped and Rissa inclined her head to look at their destination. It looked like a small palace of sorts. Rissa would have been blown away at the size of it, under other circumstances, but she quickly forgot about it when she felt rough hands around her middle, yanking her off the horse. She nearly shrieked as she was thrown to the ground. She felt_ _the bruises beginning to form, and she forced the tears back. _

"_Get up." The man named Sudroc said bitterly. Rissa could hear the clicking of the men's boots coming closer. They were closing in on her. Afraid of what would happen if she didn't obey, she forced herself to her feet. She didn't look up though. She wouldn't let herself look at these...these murderers!_

_She felt two hands grab her arms tightly, pushing her forward. Sudroc led the way, and she tried to force herself not to think about what was going to happen to her. Would they kill her? If they were going to kill her, why didn't they just do it on the farm? Why couldn't she have just died with her parents? No, they wanted her for something. They wanted what she could do. They wanted that Source, or whatever it was called. What were they going to do to her when they found out she didn't really know how to use it?_

_She was led down corridors and stairwells. It was unlike anything she had ever seen before._

_Finally, they stopped in front of a door, and Sudroc knocked quietly. The soldiers quickly saluted in a strange way that was probably a part of their culture_ _when the door began to open. Rissa forced herself to look up._

_There was a darker woman standing in the doorway, staring at Rissa curiously. She wore the strangest dress Rissa had ever seen. Was that a lightning bolt designed into the skirt? Rissa swallowed._

"_Shreya, we have found you a _marath'damane _in Almoth Plain. We have been scouting her out for the last few days." Sudroc announced proudly. Shreya did not look impressed._

"_What of her kin? Her family? Will they come searching for the girl?" She asked._

"_No. We killed them and burned down the farm." Sudroc replied._

_Rissa felt her heart stop and she felt like her breath supply had run out. She nearly fell to the ground, and probably would have had it not been for the soldiers who were holding her._ _Shreya seemed to notice, and she approached the girl, slapping her hard across the face._

"_The life you lived is now over. You belong to us now, that makes you property, girl, that makes you not human. Those powers you have make you less than human, so every memory you have from your previous life, you will forget. If I believe you are remembering it, you will be punished. If I believe you are remembering your family, you will be punished. If I believe you are doing anything that I disagree with, you will be punished." Shreya paused, and evaluated the girl standing in front of her. "What is your name, child?" Rissa swallowed, fearing this woman, but as she felt the sting on her cheek, she was frightened not to obey._

"_R-Rissa." _

"_And how old are you, Rissa?"_

"_S-sixteen."_

"_How well can you channel?" _

"_I...I don't know how...how to-"_

"_Do not lie to me girl!"_

"_I swear it_!" _Rissa didn't mean for it to come out so loudly, and it earned her another slap across the face, but these people had to know that she was _not_ Aes Sedai! Maybe they would let her go if they knew the truth._

_Shreya was silent for some time as she stared at Rissa carefully. Sudroc waited for some kind of order, Rissa stared at the ground. Part of her wished they would just kill her. She didn't know anything about these people, or their customs, or why they wanted her. Her life and future simply hung in the balance._

_Finally, Shreya reached out and grabbed Rissa's chin, roughly yanking her head up so their eyes met._

"_You are to forget everything before this moment, do you understand? Forget your parents, your life, your farm, your home, even your name. From this moment on, you will be known as Tib'beh, and you are mine!"_ _Shreya dropped Rissa's chin, and turned back into her room for a moment. Sudroc untied Rissa's hands while he waited for Shreya to return, and Rissa rubbed her wrists unconsciously. Seconds later, Shreya returned with a strange contraption. It almost looked like...a collar._

_Before Rissa could say anything, the men behind her grabbed hold of her and held her still as Shreya came forward. Rissa started to struggle. That horrid woman was going to try and collar her, like some dumb animal! Rissa started to shriek, as Shreya closed the tight steel collar around Rissa's neck, snapping it shut. The men let go of Rissa, who fell to the ground. Her hands reached for her neck, trying to yank the collar off, and it was then that she felt the most horrible pain she had ever experienced._

_It was almost as though a thousand whips were being hurled at her bare back. Rissa fell to the ground, shrieking in pain and agony, as the invisible cords struck her, again and again, again and again. It seemed to go on forever, and it finally ended. Rissa lay in a heap on the ground, twitching in pain, weeping._

"_You will never try to take that collar off again, Tib'beh, do you understand me?" Shreya said suddenly. Rissa struggled to look up and she saw that the contraption around her neck was connected by a silver cord to a bracelet around Shreya's wrist. Rissa swallowed hard and managed a nod. _Please Light, just do not do that again._ She thought. Shreya nodded to Sudroc and the rest of his soldiers. With a final yank on the cord, Rissa was forced to her feet. Her neck was already sore._

"_Come, my pet," Shreya cooed, "I will show you where you will sleep."_

* * *

_A year. A full year had passed since Rissa had been taken captive by the Seanchan. A year had passed since she had been collared, since she had been made _damane._ She had learned all their customs in the last year, learning that she was m_arath'Damane_ before she had been collared, and now she belonged to Shreya, the _sul'dam_ who owned her. It hadn't taken Rissa long to figure out what the collar and bracelet that linked the two was intended for. In fact, she figured it out the day she was collared. Whatever powers she had possessed before the Seanchan grabbed her, Shreya was now in control of. Somehow the channeling linked them, but Rissa being collared took away her control. Rissa knew more about the Source than she ever had before, only she couldn't control it. Shreya used the Source for horrible things. Rissa had been forced into wars, where Shreya used her as a weapon. She had called down fatal lightning on innocent people, explosions, death everywhere. Rissa couldn't stand all those bodies, all those dead people, dead because of something she couldn't control. Shreya also used the Source_ _to punish Rissa, nearly everyday. Rissa was punished for pouting, for speaking, for not speaking, for being lazy, for being too active, for crying, for being too cold. Shreya found every excuse she could to use the Power to beat Rissa, always in new ways. Shreya's favourite was the one she had first used on Rissa, the invisible cords on her back. It was Shreya's favourite, because that was the one that caused Rissa the most pain. _

_The worst was the Seanchan men. Shreya did not keep such a tight reign on her _damane_ as many other _sul'dam_ did. Rissa was often left alone in her room all day, to watch out the window, anticipating nothing more than Shreya's return, and severe punishments for no good reason. Shreya never left any guards for Rissa's room, since the _a'dam_ kept her still, so the Seanchan men were free to walk in and out of the _damane_ kennels as freely as they wanted to. Light, but they took advantage of her, ignoring her screams, laughing to themselves as they traded her off like a scrap of meat. They tore her clothes, they beat her, they took advantage of her like she wasn't human. When Shreya would return to find her pet beaten, mauled and her clothes torn, no matter how much Rissa tried to defend herself, she was always beaten for ruining "such a pretty face" and her clothes._

_Rissa couldn't understand her role, and that was why she was the most severely punished _damane_ in the city. All the other _damane's_ seemed to accept their role, some of them even seemed to _enjoy_ being the _sul'dam's_ pet. Rissa thought it was disgusting the way the _sul'dam_ would stroke the _damane's _hair, and the girls would seem to melt, like it was the best place to be. Didn't they realize they were nothing more than animals to the Seanchan? Rissa hated it._

_Fear consumed her day in and day out for the whole year. From the moment Shreya showed her her quarters, to today, where she sat in the same spot, watching out the window, as the bracelet that connected her to Shreya dangled on a rack near the window. Rissa had learned from the very beginning not to try and touch it, or run with it, or move it in any way_, _because Shreya would know. The punishment for that had been very severe._

* * *

_It looked like a warm day outside, as she watched soldiers up and down the street_, _guarding the city. There had been a lot of wars lately, many cities and armies trying to overtake the city, so the soldier count was double. There were even a few_ sul'dam_ and _damane_ riding around on horses in preparation for whoever was going to come next. Rissa sighed, feeling thankful that Shreya wasn't around at the moment, thankful that she didn't have to participate in such a gruesome act. _

_She stood to walk around, but was restricted as to how far she could go. The collar only allowed her so far, if she tried to go any farther, she would feel the collar tighten around her neck. She knew, with it being metal, that it wasn't really tightening, it was the Source that made it feel that way, but it didn't matter. She knew how much it hurt._

_She wandered over to the mirror that hung on the wall_, _and looked into it sadly. How scrawny she looked, how young._ _She could hardly believe she was already seventeen, she still looked the same as she had a year earlier, only much skinnier. _Damane_ were not fed very well, and they were exercised regularly, contributing to their significant weight loss. Rissa sighed. What would her parents have thought?_

_She couldn't think about them, lying there at the burning farm, murdered. They wouldn't have received a proper burial, their bodies simply would have burned. Rissa couldn't think about them, because she knew if she allowed herself to grieve them, she would not be able to stop herself, and it would only earn her a severe punishment from Shreya._

_She heard a scream just then, just a scream, but knowing better than to assume it was nothing, she ran to the window and peered outside. _Oh Light._ Soldiers who were not Seanchan were riding full force into the city, nocking arrows_ _on bows, and firing them at the Seanchan soldiers. Civilians were running through the city, screaming, gathering their children, running into their houses. A few were hit in the process, and Rissa had to turn away from the children who tried to get their mothers to "wake up." _

_The _sul'dam_ used their _damane_ to hurl explosive balls of fire at their intruders_, _while the Seanchan soldiers began nocking their own arrows for battle. Rissa felt her heart hammering against her chest. How long would it be before Shreya ran through those doors and brought her out as a weapon of mass destruction? Surely, she would be among the first to be chosen. Most of the city knew by now that she was the strongest in the Power, which Rissa couldn't understand, as she had hardly channeled a thread before she had been taken. Still, if Shreya knew about this battle, Rissa wouldn't have a choice._

_She heard footsteps coming into the kennels, and Rissa immediately felt sick to her stomach. Shreya was coming to put the bracelet on, and use her against whoever their enemies were. _

_But it wasn't Shreya who bolted through the door. It was a Seanchan soldier she recognized._

_Taru Juras. She knew him as the young soldier who was among the few to capture her a year earlier. The soldiers that day had pushed her around roughly, thrown her to the ground, bound her wrists tightly, but Taru. Taru hadn't. He had simply stood aside, watching with an expression Rissa hadn't been able to read._

_Throughout Rissa's year here, Rissa had heard Taru's insistence to the other soldiers to leave the _damane_ alone while they waited in their rooms. He had been reprimanded for it, Rissa remembered he had been knocked down a rank for his insubordination. He had snuck her water a few times when she had been brought to exercise, something she had been punished for. He had never said a word for her, but the way he looked at her always made Rissa feel even a little better. But if she even looked back at him, Shreya punished her._

_All this aside, she couldn't understand why he was here now. They were in the middle of a battle, and Taru had never stepped foot in this room before._

"_What are you doing here?" Rissa hissed, rising to her feet. She felt sick to her stomach. Had Shreya ordered Taru to come retrieve Rissa for the battle? _Oh Light, not more deaths.

_Taru looked toward the door, and closed it behind him. He was moving with a sense of urgency, and he was breathing heavily. Taru moved in closer, and grabbed Rissa's hands in his own._

"_You have to leave this place." He struggled to get out through his breaths. Rissa swallowed._

"_What?" She asked._

"_Tib'beh, you can't stay here, I see what it does to women. Being a _damane. _It breaks them, their will, eventually even the strongest of women accept their fate, become submissive, become the pets they are expected to be. But you, you are different. You are stronger. You have to leave before they break you. You have to leave before they harness your power to a dangerous level_. _Untrained as you are, yet with the amount of power they say you have, they may burn you out to the point of death." Taru explained as quickly as he could, looking over his shoulder every few moments at the closed door, expecting intruders. Rissa felt her heart beating hard. _Burn me out...to the point of death?

"_Listen to me Tib'beh, listen hard, because I do not have time to say this more than once. Everyone is distracted right now, distracted with the battle_._ Nobody will see you leave. Leave through the back city gate, I trust you remember where that is. There is a horse waiting for you there. Once you are out, travel west for a day and a half, you will find yourself in a small town. Once you are there, leave the horse. By then, they will know you are missing, and they will notice the horse is missing too. They will find the horse, but you must not be with it. Ask the people of that town the way to Tar Valon. That is where you must go, Tib'beh. You are strong in the Source, they will train you, but you must leave this place." Taru said so quickly, Rissa was having a hard time retaining the information. Before she could even tell Taru she couldn't go anywhere with the collar on, Taru reached up with his fingers, and touched the back of the collar. Rissa heard a click and her heart stopped. The collar fell to the ground. She breathed out in amazement as she stared at Taru with wide eyes._

_He didn't stop for a moment. He dropped to his knees and reached under Rissa's bed for a small sack and a dark gray cloak. Rissa wondered how he had managed to sneak them in here without anyone noticing. _

"_Put the cloak on, your dress will be too noticeable if you go out like that. Once you are in the town, change out of that dress._ _There is another in the sack._ _By then, nobody will know who you are. Travel fast, put as much distance behind you as you can in a day. Ask for directions, it will take a long while to reach Tar Valon, but I trust you will make it." Taru fastened the cloak around Rissa's neck and thrust the sack in her hands._

"_Now go." Taru said quickly, opening the door. Rissa was about to run, but then she stopped, and stared at him. She shook her head._

"_Why?" Was all she could ask. Taru stared at her with urgent eyes, and he breathed out slowly._

"_Because you are not like the rest of these flaming _damane_. You deserve a chance." He said quickly. Rissa's heart stopped as she let the words sink in. She hardly knew the man, but he watched her day by day, all this time, he had been formulating this plan to get her out. All because he thought she deserved a chance."You'll be killed, Taru." Rissa said. Taru turned her around toward the door._

"_Don't worry about me, Tib'beh, you must leave before Shreya realizes you have escaped." He said giving her a push. Rissa turned quickly and laid a kiss on his cheek._

"_My name is Rissa," She gave a weak smile, as her whole body trembled, "I shall never forget this." Without another word, she turned from the room, and ran as fast as she could._

_She ran through the city, behind the buildings, away from watchful eyes and away from the battle that was taking place. She quickly lost her breath as she ran and ran. It had been a full year since she had had to run like this, and she worried she would not be fast enough to escape the city. But soon enough, she saw the city gates, and the towers guarding the city stood empty. Likely they were participating in battle. _

_There, tied to a tree just past the city gates was a chocolate brown mare, just as Taru had said. Peeking over her shoulder one last time, seeing nobody, Rissa darted for the horse, and jumped up. She tied the sack to the saddle, and kicked in the reigns. Riding came back as naturally as ever, as she rode off into the sunset, as fast as she could._


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen**

Nynaeve watched in horror as Rissa clutched herself tightly, trembling in fear, and weeping uncontrollably. Nynaeve felt her own anger rising as she tried to imagine the horrors this poor girl had endured for the last year, but no matter how hard she tried to visualize it, she couldn't. Light, the _Seanchan!_ Nynaeve had read about them, heard about them in her studies. She knew all about _damane_ and _sul'dam._ But the horror had been lived out by this girl, this girl was living, breathing proof of the hell a _damane_ went through. Nynaeve thanked the Light she had escaped, but that year of horror had destroyed this poor girl. Rissa was so visibly shaken and terrified of her time with the Seanchan, it made Nynaeve to think about the irreversible damage that had been done. It would take a good, long time to restore Rissa to complete health and wellness. Nynaeve didn't even know what to say to the crying girl. Her instinct led her to walk over to her, and sit next to her, gently placing her arm around her. Rissa cried and cried, and Nynaeve could do nothing but stroke the young girl's hair. This girl had endured two traumas in her life, one of which she couldn't even remember. Being separated from her mother at the young age of one, left alone to wonder the streets of a foreign city, surrounded by a strange mob. Thank the Light she had been picked up by good people, who raised her. But now this.

Nynaeve breathed out sadly, as she could feel Rissa's body trembling under her arm. This poor girl was terrified, and Nynaeve couldn't exactly blame her. After everything she had seen, everything she had been subjected to, every humiliation and shame she had endured, this girl had every right to be terrified.

That was when Nynaeve realized Rissa was embracing the Source.

Nynaeve released the girl and stood up. _That's it!_ She realized.

"Rissa." Nynaeve said gently, but with a sense of urgency. Rissa's body still shook, as strangled sobs escaped from her mouth. Nynaeve knelt down in front of her, and pulled her chin up so she could look at her. Ignoring the dark circles under the child's eyes, and the tears streaking her pale face, she stared at her seriously.

"Channel." Nynaeve said seriously. Rissa puckered her brow and breathed in, trying to stop herself from trembling.

"W...what?" Rissa asked.

"Try to channel. Right now! Trust me." Nynaeve pleaded. Rissa stared at her for a moment, trying to make sense of Nynaeve's request. Failing, she obeyed. She closed her eyes and channeled.

She heard Nynaeve laugh a little, and when Rissa opened her eyes, there was the same flame she had managed to conjure only days ago, a controlled flame. The perfectly red flame, with shades of blue, orange, yellow, purple. Rissa stared at it in amazement, surprised to see it there, whole and normal. It wasn't out of control, it wasn't dangerous, it was just...perfect. Rissa looked up at Nynaeve, who channeled to put out Rissa's flame.

"How...?" Rissa tried asking, still struggling for air. Her body was still shaking, but not as badly. She wasn't really thinking about the Seanchan anymore. She was more focused on what she had just done. More importantly, how Nynaeve knew she could.

"I think we have discovered your block." Nynaeve said with a thin smile. Rissa felt her heart skip a beat.

"What?" She whispered.

"I should have seen it earlier. The whole time you were telling me about the Seanchan, you were clinging to the Source. That's why it was easy for you to channel right now. It was right there." Nynaeve stared at her. "Rissa, your block is fear. You've lived the last year of your life in fear, and you are still frightened of those people. Rightly so, but that is your block. You can only channel when you are afraid."

Rissa stared at her, trying to make sense of it. As she tried to remember all the times she had been able to channel on her own, it was closely related to feeling frightened or afraid of something. Light, how could she not have seen this?

"Rissa?" Nynaeve asked after a moment's silence. Rissa looked up quickly and realized Nynaeve was watching her closely. Rissa shook her head.

"I...I need to change that. How do I get rid of my block? Now that I know what it is, how do I stop it?" She asked, feeling her breath catch in her throat a few times. She didn't like the look on Nynaeve's face.

"Rissa, it doesn't work like that. Some Aes Sedai claim that some girls can never overcome their blocks, others believe over time it can disappear." Nynaeve replied.

"What? But what good am I going to be if I can only channel when I'm afraid? I can't even keep it under control! Sometimes when I channel, it gets out of control, and I can't stop it! I can't stop bad things from happening me, if I can only channel when I'm frightened! I won't be able to take care of myself!" Rissa was crying again, and Nynaeve realized what was going on right away.

"Is that what this is about, Rissa? You came to the Tower so you could gain control? I understand now. You crave control over your life, so that if they ever came back...."

"I could stop them from taking me again." Rissa whispered, tears streaming down her face. Nynaeve grabbed a hold of the girl's shoulders and stared her square in the face, narrowing her eyebrows.

"They will not come after you. You are miles away from them. The Tower is the safest place for you to be. They cannot come after you here. Rissa, nothing bad is going to happen to you! Not here." Nynaeve tried to console the girl, but Rissa was still crying. Light, but this girl was terrified. How would she ever overcome this?

"It...it's my fault they're dead." Rissa said suddenly. Nynaeve looked up and saw the girl biting her lip, trying to keep herself from crying.

"Who?" Nynaeve pressed. Rissa hesitated, and as a single tear rolled down her cheek, she continued.

"My mother. My father. The Seanchan...they came for me, because...because of what I could do...channel. They took me because of it, and they...they killed them. If I had never channeled, they'd-"

"Rissa, you cannot talk like that. Girls are born with this ability, it isn't something you could have stopped. You mustn't blame yourself, child, you couldn't have stopped any of it. You must stop believing you're the one to blame." Nynaeve said seriously. Rissa could only shake her head and sob a little more. Nynaeve sat in silence, listening to the hurt that had built up in this girl over the last year come out in her endless tears.

"I...I miss them, Nynaeve...I really do. I wish everyday that they were still alive. I have no family now." Rissa said quietly.

Nynaeve's heart skipped a beat. That simply was not truth. Rissa did have family, a family she had never known about. Light, this girl had a mother and a father, and five sisters she knew nothing about. Was now really the time to reveal the truth to this young girl? Would it help her to know her elder sister was in the same Tower she was? Nynaeve wasn't positive it was the best time, but she couldn't see there being any other.

"Rissa, that isn't the truth. You do have a family. I should have told you sooner, but I chose to keep it to myself until I was sure." Nynaeve paused. "You told me you were lost in a place called the Two Rivers when you were a year old. Rissa, I am from the Two Rivers. Sixteen years ago, there was a woman named Marin Al'Vere, who had six daughters. One of them, her youngest, fell ill with a fever when she was still a baby. I was the Wisdom's apprentice then, and I helped treat the child. That child had a remarkable birthmark on her shoulder. It looked like a star." Nynaeve ignored Rissa's reaction, as she continued. "Marin Al'Vere took her two youngest daughters into town one day when the children were one and three years old. A mob broke out and Marin lost her youngest child that day. Rissa, I never knew until you told me your story. That birthmark on your left shoulder blade proves it. You are the child Marin lost sixteen years ago. Child, you have a mother and a father who are still alive in the Two Rivers, as well as five older sisters. And...one of them is here."

Rissa couldn't breath as she continued to listen.

"Egwene. She is your older sister. She was there the day you were lost. She often thinks about you." Nynaeve paused, trying to read Rissa's expression. "I am sorry I am telling you this now. I was not completely sure when the right time would be, but there is no mistaking it, Rissa. You and Egwene are sisters."


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen**

Rissa lay awake in her bed an hour later, feeling the tears streaming down her cheek. She tried to make sense of what Nynaeve had just told her. The truth about her past. The truth about who she was. The truth of who she belonged to.

It was hard fo Rissa to imagine a family besides the one who raised her, the one who she had spent her entire love doting on. The one she had watched murdered, because of her.

Rissa took a struggled breath in. She had never been very interested in the truth about her life before Bron and Rynna had found her. In fact, she never really asked her parents about where she had been found, or who she had belonged to. Rissa sighed. _Although, they wouldn't have known who my family had been. Nynaeve said my...real mother lost me. Bron and Rynna wouldn't have known..._

Rissa dried her tears all away and breathed out. Not only had Nynaeve told her she had a mother and father in the Two Rivers, but that she was also the youngest of six girls, and that one of her sisters was already at the White Tower.

Egwene.

Rissa couldn't believe it. But she did remember what Egwene had said the first time they had met. _I have a younger sister who would be that age by now._ Rissa sighed. _I suppose that sister is me._

Nynaeve had told Rissa Egwene should know, but that she wouldn't be the one to tell her. It was up to Rissa, Nynaeve said. She had to tell her when she believed it was the right time.

Rissa wasn't sure when _anytime_ would be the right time. Light, how would Egwene even react? All this time, Egwene probably believed her younger sister was dead. How would she feel if she had been alive all this time, and was no in the White Tower. _Will she even believe me?_

Sleep wasn't coming to her, she knew she would never be able to sleep until she revealed the truth to her elder sister. It still felt strange to refer to her in that way, but she supposed it was the truth now. No sense hiding from it.

Rissa left her bed, and took a breath in. She felt afraid, and naturally, the Source filled her, only this time, she was aware of it. Now that she had figured out what her block was, she knew she would be able to understand when she could embrace _saidar_ and when she could not. Now was one of those times. She tried to ignore it, she didn't want to accidentally set Egwene's bedroom on fire.

She left her bedroom and down a few corridors to Egwene's bedroom. Rissa paused at the door, just staring at it, trying to muster up enough courage to knock. What was she supposed to say?

She forced the tears down, she knew she'd have to start somewhere. She couldn't let fear run her life forever, _especially_ because it was her block. She had a feeling she'd never be able to control _saidar_ if she couldn't face what she was afraid of.

Rissa knocked.

She knew Egwene would be asleep. It was nearing _morning_, for Light's sake. Rissa began to consider running down the hall, back to her own quarters, forgetting about telling Egwene anything. She even considering running back to Nynaeve's quarters and _begging_ Nynaeve to be the one to tell her. Light, why was this so hard?

Before her heart could catch up with her head, the door flung open, and Egwene stared at Rissa with bleary eyes. She was wearing her nightgown, and Egwene looked at Rissa with confused eyes, as she realized Rissa was still wearing her White Novice dress.

"Rissa, what are you...what time is it?" Egwene asked, stifling a yawn. Rissa breathed out, looking down the hall. Her heart was hammering against her chest, could she really do this?

"Why are you holding _saidar?_" Egwene asked, a little nervously. Rissa looked at her, not even realizing she was holding the Source. _Not again._ Rissa suppressed it.

"Sorry." She said. "It's kind of a long story."

"What are you doing here, Rissa, it's in the middle of the night." Egwene seemed displeased, probably wanting to return to her bed. Rissa very nearly told her she would come back in the morning, but there was a large part of her that needed to tell Egwene the truth. Waiting would only make things harder. No, Rissa had to tell her _now._

"There's...there's something I...I need to tell you." Rissa managed to say, feeling her heart colliding with her chest, harder each second.

Egwene seemed to sense the seriousness behind Rissa's eyes, and motioned her to come in. Closing the door behind them, Egwene turned back to Rissa, eyes wider now.

"What's the matter? I gather this is important." She pointed out. Rissa nodded.

"It is." She breathed out. "I don't quite know how to go about telling you."

"What is it, Rissa? It can't be that bad that you can't tell me." Egwene encouraged. Rissa's body shook as she stared at the ground. She felt those familiar tears stinging her eyes. Light, not _now._

"Egwene, I-...I tried to escape from the Tower tonight." She admitted. Egwene's eyes widened and she grabbed Rissa's hands tightly.

"You...what? You were caught? Why under the _Light_ would you try to escape? Haven't you heard _anything _about Novice runaways?" She asked, almost in anger. Rissa shook her head.

"I hadn't, but I had to leave. Karen Sedai...she said some things, anyhow, none of that matters now. They caught me. I was punished, severely! But...that is not why I came to you, Egwene." She explained, clearing her throat. Egwene waited patiently.

"Sheriam Sedai sent me to Nynaeve, and told me I was not to leave until I discovered what my block was. Nynaeve was frustrated, to say the least, but in our conversation, I..." Rissa tried to figure out what she was going to say. What _could_ she say? She breathed out. "I found out more about my childhood." Egwene puckered her brow.

"From _Nynaeve?_" She asked. Rissa nodded.

"How? I thought you said you were from Almoth Plain? How could she know anything about your childhood?"

"Because I never told you that Bron and Rynna, the ones who raised me, aren't my real parents." Rissa waited, as Egwene stared at her with curiosity.

"They raised me, but I am not related to them. The truth is..." Rissa breathed in. "The truth is I was lost as a child, lost in a mob. I never knew much more than that, except that my parents, Bron and Rynna, found me and took me home with them. The only thing I knew...is _where_ I was lost." Egwene leaned forward. It was almost as though she knew what Rissa were going to say, waiting to affirm that after all these years, Egwene may have found her...

"Go on." Egwene prompted.

"I never knew you were from the Two Rivers, Egwene. Not until I talked to Nynaeve tonight. Nynaeve told me about a mother who had lost her child of one year, in a large mob, in the same place I was lost. Nynaeve told me this lost child had a star-shaped birthmark on her shoulder." Rissa hesitated, as tears filled Egwene's eyes. Without saying a word, Rissa pulled her dress over her shoulder, and revealed the star-shaped birthmark. Egwene let out a small gasp, as she stared at Rissa with tears spilling over.

"I was lost in the Two Rivers, Egwene. You were there too. You were there the day I was lost, and was taken to Almoth Plain." Rissa breathed out. "Your mother is my mother, and you and I...we're sisters."

Rissa hardly got the words out of her mouth when Egwene flung herself toward Rissa, and wrapped her arms around her tightly. Egwene was crying, and as Rissa held her back, she felt her own tears fall.

"I thought you were dead. Everyone said you were dead, but I never once believed it. I knew you were alive, somewhere." Egwene managed. Rissa breathed out, closing her eyes.

There they stood, for some time, just embracing one another, long lost sisters, finally reunited. Rissa wondered to herself if Egwene even remembered the day Rissa was lost, she wondered how Egwene and her family coped after losing the youngest member of their family, and now, Rissa wondered, what would happen now that the truth was out?

It didn't matter to her, because in that moment, Rissa's fears were gone. _Saidar_ was absent from her, but she didn't care. She wasn't alone in the world anymore, and she knew, as she held on to her elder sister, that somehow, everything was going to work out. Together, they would make it through this training, and somehow, Rissa would fight to gain control over the Source.

**The End!**

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you everybody who journeyed with me through my first Wheel of Time fanfiction. This is definitely not the end of Rissa's story, though. I haven't come up with any ideas in terms of a plot yet, but I have a few ideas that I'm throwing around. If anybody has any ideas of what they'd like to see happen to Rissa, let me know. Thanks a bunch :)


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